


Deprave the feathers

by HisOceanEyes



Series: A villain of my own mind [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A little bit of Daddy kink because I'm into it lol, Abuse, Aftercare, Anal Sex, Betrayal, Bipolar Disorder, Blood, Blood As Lube, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Brainwashing, Dark, Dark Steve Rogers, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depression, Dom Steve Rogers, Dom/sub, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Forced Pregnancy, Friends to Enemies, Guilt, Hate Speech, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra Steve Rogers, Impregnation, Jealous Steve Rogers, Jealous Tony Stark, Jealousy, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loss of Virginity, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, M/M, Manipulation, Master/Slave, Memory Loss, Minor Loki/Tony Stark, Miscarriage, Mood Swings, Obsessive Behavior, Obsessive Steve Rogers, Oral Sex, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Porn, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Steve Rogers, Pregnant Sex, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Rape, Rough Sex, Sex, Sexual Abuse, Slavery, Smut, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Stockholm Syndrome, Sub Loki (Marvel), Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony finally is here omg I'm tired, Top Steve Rogers, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex, Whum Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisOceanEyes/pseuds/HisOceanEyes
Summary: After letting himself fall, Loki ends up in Steve’s hands, not in the void, the blonde has kept him as his captive.The problem is that the America golden boy is not the good captain anymore.
Relationships: Loki/Steve Rogers, Loki/Tony Stark
Series: A villain of my own mind [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087745
Comments: 114
Kudos: 149





	1. Chapter 1

He steps into the elevator and presses the button to the lower levels underground, he has to restrain the urge boiling so violently at the thought of what is waiting for him there.

HYDRA headquarter is a complicated place, but he is getting used to its paths since the day he became the head. Today is the... how many days is it has he kept his pretty thing here? He has no idea and is too wrapped up in the delicious feeling that he is about to bring his thing home.

The process has taken a lot of work, though. He had to hide it from the world's eyes and made sure he left no trace in case some voyeur finds out what is supposed to be hidden from them. By that he means those annoying superheroes. He could never handle their shits, fucking superheroes, always disturb his business. And how long is it has they become his enemies? But these are just his nonsense excuses. The only reason he has to keep it here for so long is to restrain its power, to put a leash on it so that he can ensure things will get under control.

The elevator beeps, informing he has just arrived at that underground level. He quickly shooks his head to shove those thoughts, those are not important at all when he is going to collect his little pretty thing home. 

The large room is lit dimly light, but he still sees clearly, the chill atmosphere grazes his skin, such a good sensation, like the feeling when he touches his pretty thing. The thought almost turns him on, he wants it, he wants to take it, to fill it.

In the middle of the room placed a huge birdcage, inside it, there is something, his thing, no, someone, a man, his, anyway. 

The man in the cage appears with dark-haired, pale skin, half-naked - he only wears a blue oversized shirt - his capture's shirt, his bruised left ankle is bound by a long and heavy chain which is tightly attached to the iron column. Eyes are folded by a black blindfolded, despite not seeing those beautiful eyes, like the saying "Eyes are the window of the soul", he still looks too pretty that even the word "gorgeous" can't be enough to describe his beauty.

When he walks towards his pretty thing in the birdcage, his captive seems to notice his presence, he raises his head a little bit and asks.

"Steve?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Steve?"

His pretty thing asks, shakily. The expression is full of fear, tension, and uncertainty, just like he is trying to prepare himself for what is going to happen to him next. Such a poor little thing, Steve thinks, he will never have enough of the sound of his name being said through his captive's mouth, a very useful mouth. 

Steve reaches through the bars to stroke his captive's cheek, grinning when he sees him tense slightly at the touch. How lucky he is, to have someone who that much beauty by his side, Steve mused. As if the universe has given him all of its blessings so that now he has a prince and god from another planet under his care.

It was six months ago since HYDRA collected the fallen angel who had plummeted to Earth from the far far away planet out there in the vast universe. They found Loki in the worst state that they have ever seen, with too many broken bones, he was seriously unconscious, lost a lot of blood, all of the or,gans were seemingly damaged. Surely the crash to the surface had somehow played a crucial part in the conditions. His subordinates had wanted to examine the alien and make him become their weapon because they rarely had a chance to haul such a good asset, but Steve knew better. He even knows who the prince is, he had met his brother sometimes when he was still with his former team. Considering the prince's background, there is no point making him a weapon, his thunderous brother might find out one day if his little brother running around and doing missions instead of being kept inside. At least that was Steve's advocate. If he was honest with himself, he would admit that he just has the desire to keep the prince as one of his belongings. Steve doesn't want to use his magic, that's why he has to keep the god here for almost six months to restrain his alien power, Steve just wants his heart, his body, he wants him.

Steve understands he is having Thor's brother as his sex slave, the brothers had visited Earth before, he still remembers he was fascinated by the first time he met Loki, no blondie, no muscles, no tanned skin, no fuss, he and Thor are not alike, as if they are not actually brothers. Their appearances had made Steve spinning around with his curiosity and now he got the answer. Two weeks after he got Loki, the blonde god came down here with the pure hope that maybe he could find his baby brother who fell from the Bifrost after they had a fight. 

Hearing the god's explanation surged a tide of rage through his vein. Not that Steve was some kind of a nobleman who thirsts for justice, he had already devoured the righteousness for so long, not to mention Steve might need to thank Thor's arrogance for indirect forming a chance for him to secretly get Loki, he just wanted to crash the blonde god into pieces for putting Loki in severe conditions and it took Steve a lot of time to heal the young broken prince of Asgard, with the help of Loki' magic, of course, it seemed to cured its user itself. He waited until Loki was recovered, at least physically, after then did he plan to tame the power. Steve knew he had to control it, or else the prince would someday run away. Luckily, HYDRA has full of secret and helpful toys to serve his needs. An earring has been attached to Loki's right ear, it prevents him from using any of his magic without Steve's approval and cannot be removed. 

Steve aware he is playing with fire, but what is the matter if he has water? Loki is his, whether the prince himself wants this or not, yes, of course, what in your hands is yours, after all, Steve was the one who has taken care of the little prince since the day he fell to Earth.

"You've been waiting for me, haven't you, little one?"

Steve chuckles at the way Loki trembles, he opens the cage door and goes inside. He sits down next to his captive, throws his arms around Loki, and drags him closer. It feels so right when doing this when hugging Loki tightly and closely like this, it feels so right when Steve... captures him, manipulates him, rapes him, marks him.

Loki remains silent as if he has used to it, one must think he has already resigned himself to Steve, has already accepted his place, but Steve still feels him stiffen. He doesn't like that reaction, though, it has taken a whole lot of effort to break Loki's spirit, to force him to obey his master. His poor thing was frightened and confused at first, but he has gradually learned what will happen if he misbehaves. Well, Steve has gone too far in his way to achieve the goal, yet he has not been satisfied.

It is okay, nothing to worry about, they have plenty of time together, Steve will make sure about that. Today he will bring Loki home, not leaving the treasure in this damn headquarter anymore. But only after Steve releases his seed inside Loki, just think of it as a small celebration to say goodbye to the last day Loki is here then, Steve tells himself, the last time he fucks him in this cage.

Steve snuggles into Loki's hair, inhaling a good breath of his scent. He smells like fresh roses in the morning dew, God... He loves it, loves everything from Loki, and he wants to... take him right now. Wasting no second, Steve grabs Loki's upper arms and pulls back enough to steal a deep kiss from him.

The prince groans shakily, he doesn't even kiss Steve back, just stays frozen like a puppet, enduring whatever his capture does, it is shameful, but it is still better than fighting, then getting hit and brutally abused. When Loki is good, which usually means staying still, Steve will make it easy for him, he will not be too rough and will finish it sooner, especially he will probably not leave Loki bleeding and sore for days.

They are apart after a few minutes just because both of them need air to breathe. Steve's hands find their way down to Loki's waist, and then thighs, and then inner thighs. The prince starts to gasp, he cannot stop himself from trembling violently, a growing panic is rising, the pain from last night's activities still clinging to his whole body. He cannot take it anymore, not right now.

"It misses me, doesn't it?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suggest you guys read the hashtags and consider whether or not you will continue to go along with me because the story is going to have a suicidal attempt and loss of pregnancy. I may slow update but I assure you I ain't gonna delay it.
> 
> And Thor is not gonna play an important role in this one, in fact, he'll never appear in the rest of the story, lol.

"It misses me, doesn't it?"

Steve asks, his finger already pushes inside Loki's bruised hole, it has still been stretched and loose. Semen leaks through the entrance so beautifully like milk dripping from a tit. Loki hisses painfully, he places his hands on Steve's arms but does not attempt to shove him away, just begging for mercy. It hurts, and even he cannot see, Loki knows the tearing hole that was bleeding so terribly last night has not yet been healed, and Steve may make it worse.

"Don't worry, love. I'll make you feel good, all you need to do is to obey."

Another digit invades, stretches the little hole, and makes Loki cry out, Steve loves it, he wants to hear more. He slowly eases Loki down on his back and gets on top of him. 

The prince grins his teeth, he knows there is no way his capture will make it gentle for him, even if the Captain will, it still hurts, his member is huge, Loki cannot take it without being torn apart. Steve always plunges into Loki like he is some kind of insensate sex doll while soothing him with sweet words. 

Loki does not know why must he endure these sick torments. He does not know why he ended up being a cum holder for one of his former brother’s teammates. The only few things Loki remembers are that he was battling with his so-called brother on the Bifrost, and then determining to attempt suicide, to put an end to his wretched life and leave those who were supposed to be his family live happily in their golden realm without an ice monster inside their home, so he let go, so he fell, Loki swears at that time, he felt the void was devouring him, and then... then... he does not know what happened next. He just knows he woke up in a strange place with a white ceiling greeting him. There were creatures, moving around, talking, doing their works, and it took a while to comprehend he had fallen to Midgard and was surrounded by humans, humans in lab coats with tools and bandages in their hands. His body was nearly paralyzed, unable to move, not to mention some cuffs that held his wrists and ankles to the bed, creating a good chance for the humans to do whatever they want to him. They injected an uncountable amount of fluid into his body, put some sort of mask on his nose and mouth, cleaned him up, and changed the bandages. 

Before long, Loki realized the humans were trying to recover him. So that was it, the whole universe did not let Loki die to reach the peace he had always been craving, even the Norns wanted him to continue suffering. He used the way those humans came and left to count the days, they came every morning and left every night, working dutifully, not even care to spare a second to tell him what was the meaning of that. His magic was healing him, Loki had drawn an escape plan in his head, that once he was recovered enough, he would break those cuffs, pull those wires and tubes out of his body, and run away. 

But-

He never got that fortune.

Right after the magic cured most of his parts, the humans attached a device to his ear that worked like a spell to prevent Loki from using his power. Again, the universe deemed him to suffer in agony and misery. 

After about four months or so, Loki saw someone entered the windowless room, someone who did not wear the coat, someone else, not those who had been taking care of him, someone with big muscles, broad shoulders, blue eyes, and blonde hair.

Loki was frightened at first, he thought his former brother trailed him here already to tease, to laugh at him for ending up being nothing but a thing for humans to do whatever they want. But no, as that person got closer, Loki slowly realized the blonde was not his brother, but he knew him, he had met the man before, in a skyscraper... in a tower... Still, the man looked a little bit different, the familiar shiny smile which was as warm as the sun was gone, replaced by a cool expression. When the blonde looked at Loki, his features quickly changed into something Loki did not have enough time to analyze as someone else ejected more fluid into his veins, causing him to drown in unconsciousness. 

"... -ve me."

Steve's words drag Loki out of his wandering thoughts, he tries to remember what the Captain just said. He has no idea. 

Steve is not satisfied with the silence hovering in the air, he speeds up, thrusting the fingers into Loki fiercely, making him squirming painfully.

"Tell me you love me."

Steve demands again, another hand comes to squeeze Loki's balls as a warning.

"I- ah! Um... I love you!"

The prince utters a lie, they both understand it is always a lie, but Steve likes it, no matter whether Loki says it willingly or not, the blonde just wants to hear those words flow from his mouth, and oh, mention about the mouth. He could definitely do a thing or two with that mouth. Steve muses, excitement hits him so badly at the vision of Loki's soft lips wrap around his cock, and he as the master, will demand his slave to lick, to suck, to kiss the cock enthusiastically. The imagination is so vivid that it makes him hard and big already.

Leaving Loki lies here, Steve starts to open his flying and pull down the trousers enough to free his erection. It is twitching painfully in desperation to be buried into the delicious and hot tunnel. Taking advance of the cum remained, Steve does not need to use the lubricant this time, which he sometimes does not, this is so nausea and pervert but watching blood bleeding from the tiny cute hole and then running down those pale thighs always makes Steve get high.

He spreads Loki's pale legs and repositions himself between them. Steve holds his cock and presses the tip against the entrance, enjoying the hole twitches at the sudden intrusion and the way Loki shivers as he sobs.

"There, there, hush, love, let me hook you up so well, baby. After this, we're gonna go home, and then I think I'll fuck you so hard in our bedroom to test our new bed, hmm?"

Loki whimpers, a chill runs down his spine, Steve has been talking about bringing him to somewhere he calls home these days. Loki does not know where he is going to go but it does not matter because wherever Steve brings him to, it is no doubt that the Captain will always rape him until he cannot even make a single sound.

Thankfully, Steve does not instantly plumb all the way into his ass, instead, the blonde just slowly thrusts in until his cock is neat and fully inside of him. The searing heat radiates from the girth burning him to the core. The prince almost grateful for the loose state of his hole and the release Steve left wholly inside him last night. But all of the sudden, Steve yanks out, causing Loki to hisses as his whole body startles at the unexpected emptiness. How shameful, even in this circumstance, his body is still begging to be fucked while his mind just wants the kidnapper to leave him alone.

Loki bites his lips and prepares himself for the worse, right at the time his body has just tensed, Steve immediately plunges into him again, over and over again, making the prince arches his back and screams, loud slaps of flesh fill the air so lustfully. Following with the moans of sensual pleasures from the two. Steve's grips are on Loki's slender waist, he is wrapped so tight that he believes the bruises will stay there for even more than a week. Loki cries out, hot tears soaking the blindfold, his body is rocking with each thrust, his feet stretch out, the whole body is trembling and it soon becomes jelly. Loki now is nothing but a soft of flesh and hole for Steve to play and dump his cum. As always.

"Ahh! So good, little kitten... You are so hot- so damn hot! Now squeeze me, come on."

Steve hums and gasps, a loud groan echoes the room as Loki does what he just told. His lover's hole is squeezing around his cock dutifully, making the blonde's eyes roll back at the sensation and satisfaction of his lover obeying him.

It hurts, it is agony, but above all, it feels so good. Loki tries to reject these feelings, reject the fact that once again his brother's teammate is abusing him, using his body however he wants, but his body is more honest than Loki himself.

His legs go to wrap around Steve's hips as his hands come to hug the rapist. Fingernails scratch down the large back, leaving red marks on the skin, head tilts back, revealing the Adam apple which is vibrating as each moan. 

Steve grins at his lover's reaction and leans down to suck the Adam apple. He licks and trails kisses across the sensitive skin, marking Loki with his hickeys. 

"Say you want me to cum inside you, baby."

Steve demands through his pleasure moans, and then he speeds up his pace.

"I want you to cum inside me. Ah!!!"

Loki obeys without any hesitation.

"Again!"

"I-ah! I want you to c-cum... inside me-"

"Again, dear, repeat it. I'll never let you rest unless you actually mean what you are saying!"

And with that, Steve's hand releases Loki's waist and comes up to squeeze his right nipple, then rubbing, then pressing, another hand slips down to strokes Loki's cock a few times before wrapping it tightly to stop Loki from cumming. He bites the crook of the prince's neck, adding extra hints that this fallen and lost angel belongs to him, even though no one is going to contest for the precious price with him. No one dares. 

Loki wails in misery and pain mixed with fleshy lust. His brain now is hazed by foggy feelings of pleasure. He cannot take these vicious thrusts anymore and desperately needs to cum. His lean body shaking unstoppable.

"Steve... ah! I'm begging you... Please, cum inside me... I want you to fill my hole! Ah- please please please..."

His voice broken into pieces. He does not even know which words have just been uttered from his own mouth. He wants nothing but a hot load to fill the stretching flesh tunnel. At least when Steve is done, he may allow Loki to release himself as well. At least when Steve is satisfied, Loki will be able to take a rest, just to be raped and used and abused once again whenever Steve wants.

"Good boy. You are such an obedient kitten for me, aren't you?"

The blonde murmurs to Loki's ear, feeling his climax coming.

"Then take it, my cum is all yours, baby!" 

He removes his grip and lets Loki cums, then rocks his hips one last time before stuffing his cock as deep as he can into the pleasant hole and spilling his seed inside it.

Loki groans and arches his back even more. New hot condensed liquid flooding his hole, burning every muscle there and harmonizes with the old one. 

Steve stays inside him for a while, he closes his eyes and catches his breath. After a moment, he opens those ocean eyes to glance down at his sated slave. The way the blindfold hides Loki's eyes creates such a lustful and enchanted scene. The prince is still whining, his body shaking violently at the aftermath of cumming and being cummed deep inside. His semen decors the soft and pale stomach, Steve grabs a nearby towel to clean his lover's body, smiling when he hears Loki whiny moans as the texture of the fabric brushes against his now too sensitive body. After he is done, Steve tosses the towel aside and slowly pulls out his cock, his semen brims over the entrance as there is nothing to plug it. He then leans down to Loki and repositions themselves until they are side-lying, facing front to front, and the prince lies tidy in his arms.

"Shh... You did so well, love. I assured I'd make you feel good, see? You can rest now, sweetheart. I'm here."

Loki's sobs start to lower and soon there are just the heavy breaths clinging to the air, he is so spent, so sated, so tired, and humiliated for enjoying being abused by the Captain. But the way Steve hugs him closely and soothes him after every time he brutally assaults him makes Loki feels good, he should not have felt or thought like that, but he cannot help, it always is a little comfort Loki has been received ever since Steve brought him from the white room to this dull, dimly lit one and become the only person who interacts with Loki.

"I'm here, it's okay, honey. It's okay, I'm here, I've got you."

Says the rapist. How irony. Yet those words make Loki feels safe, feels protected, even though the one who utters them is also the one who puts him in these kinds of misery. But when you are pushed into a corner, you will take whatever you can just to have a little bit of comfort in the whole nightmare.

"I'm here. Now sleep, baby. You need to rest."

Steve says, a hand comes to stroke the jet black hair then gently scratches Loki’s scalp. He finally removes the blindfold, smiling as he watches those watery and puffy green eyes slowly blink open. 

Loki startles quietly when seeing the ocean eyes stare directly down at his emerald ones with such affection but soon relaxes at the pleasant sensation on his head. So he does what the Captain orders because there is nothing else to do, besides, Loki is drowsy and drained out of energy. He does need to rest. To refresh himself physically to be exhausted again later.

Steve is pleased when Loki obeys, he kisses his lover's forehead, then resting his chin on his head, enjoying the soft and smooth locks of hair. He gradually closes his eyes and falls into the sleep of the just.

Tomorrow, he is going to give his lover a new home, with a new bedroom where Loki is going to sleep next to him.


	4. Chapter 4

Sunshine comes through the window and wakes Loki up. He gradually opens his eyes and feels so fatigued and dizzy, surely Steve had given him another anaesthesia. Realizing he is lying on a soft and comfy mattress and fluffy pillows and a warm blanket drafts over him, Loki blinks in question, he slightly pushes himself up on his hands and looks around, confused in his eyes, his lower body reminds him of the activity last night by a jolt of pain. 

He is in a large and luxury bedroom with a dominant grey colour, a plush silvery grey carpet, a huge wardrobe, some extravagant looking armchairs, and a couch, a shelf full of books, and many more to list. The royal of it almost makes Loki feel like he is in Asgard palace again, it gives him a complex emotion, Loki misses Frigga, he misses her so much he even has dreams about her some days. 

It has been months without his mother by his side, Loki sometimes wonders whether Frigga even believes he is dead and disintegrated in the void, or still alive but lives as a slave, a toy for a human to entertain with his sick desire. He usually ends up hoping she would believe in the first one. 

The scorching sunshine tells Loki it is afternoon now, Steve had ejected a drug to keep Loki unconscious and brought him here as it would be easier for the transit, the prince muses, this is the most reasonable scenario for his appearance in this strange room. But there is no sign of Steve, the blonde must be somewhere nearby, and he will probably return here soon. Back in the dim room, the guy came to sleep with Loki almost every day, sometimes he allowed Loki to get out of his cage to sleep in the bed with him, the other times, Steve just got inside the cage and spent his nights there like lovebirds stuck in a sad cage with deprived freedom.

Loki attempts to get up, only to realize there is a chain binds at his left ankle, it is just long enough for him to go around the room, he guesses, Steve spares him no chance to run away. Of course, how can the Captain leave even a minor loophole for his favourite and free cum dump to escape? 

He gets up, thankfully Steve was very nice this time for dressing him in a comfortable outfit, Loki's clothing had been ripped off since the first day the blonde carried him in the dim room and marked him as his over and over and over again. The lack of clothes had been driving Loki crazy for months, as a prince, he is not used to being naked like a whore who is always ready to dedicate himself to his master.

Loki heads to the large window and looks down, astonished at a vast and green garden below, moreover, there are a few people who are moving around or guarding, some cars park in the front yard. 

He stunningly looks around, the beautiful view reminds him of his old life in the golden realm. Loki misses his home so much, but wanting or not, in one way or another, he cannot go home again, not after committing his sins, no Asgardian is going to welcome him anymore. In case he cannot return to Asgard, there is no place to go, not even an asylum in this universe will accept a fallen prince, except Steve's, right? 

Loki has been thinking about waiting for a chance to run away from the rapist, yet he usually ends up giving up as he does not know where he will run to. Undoubtedly, Midgard will not accept him, this realm is under Thor's protection, and if some of Thor's devotees detect and report it to the thunderer, he will probably come and kill Loki. He is not scared of death but being dead in the hand of his family is a constant nightmare Loki has always carried since the day he discovered his true heritage.

After a long moment, Loki sees Steve and some people in black suits come into view, they stop at the front yard and talk a little bit after most of them get into the cars and drive away. Steve stands still as he watches his subordinates leave. Then all of the sudden, he turns around, looks up at the window where Loki is staring down at him, and smiles, as if he knows Loki already woke up and is curious about his surroundings.

The Captain's actions terrify Loki, he tenses and backs a few steps to avoid Steve and stumbles to the floor. He is not stupid, he knows Steve coming here just will be a matter of time, and he has no place to hide from a vicious predator. He is right in a den of the devil.

Loki desperately grabs the chain and attempt to break it, but his effort is pointless, he is just too frightened to think logically. The earring prevents him from using his magic, and even his godly strength. Loki now is a barely human but God. 

Steve is going to hurt him again.

Steve is going to hurt him again.

Steve is going to hurt him again.

Steve is going to abuse him again.

Steve is going to abuse him again.

Steve is going to abuse him again.

No...

No...

Loki thinks frantically, his fingers tremble as they try to yank the chain. And suddenly, he hears footsteps coming upstairs, his fear surges even more. No... His body still hurts, he cannot take another assault, he cannot... he just cannot...

His slender frame froze at a sound of the door being unlocked and opened. Although his back is facing the door, Loki knows who it is and does not dare to turn around. His stomach rolls painfully, the frozen state immediately gives place to violent tremors of fear. His fingers clasp the chain too tight that his blood circulation is cut off and turn cold.

The footsteps start to sound again, slowly and slowly approach Loki. And then he feels two big hands resting on his shoulders, his muscles tense, his anxiety is evident. The hands rub his flesh through the light fabric as if they are trying to relax the frightening creature, but they just make Loki wants to scream with terror.

Steve, however, chuckles at his captive's reaction, he has been used to it now. He brushes the back of Loki's neck with his fingers, making the prince jumps in surprise and horripilates. The hand comes to gently cup his face, then turn it slightly aside so that Loki can face the blonde. 

Once again, the affection in the ocean eyes confuses the prince, he cannot comprehend it, why can a heartless rapist who has hurt him so much have such an expression like that? Loki has asked himself a thousand times, but he never figures out an answer. Steve just wants a hole to spill his seed, does he not?

A wide smile tugs on the Captain's face as he wraps his other hand around Loki's waist and leans down to press his forehead against Loki's, inhaling the delicious scent of him, Steve will never have enough of it. He pulls the prince closer, causing his erection to push against Loki's back, also triggering a quiet sob from him. Steve craves for more, he needs to hear more of the sound, he wants to make Loki wail while he is thrusting into him. Since when did he become sadistic that much?

The fact that his unwilling lover trapped in his house, right in his room makes Steve feel whole. He tilts Loki's head aside, exposing the yummy white neck and nuzzles in it, then beginning to leave new hickeys on top of the old ones. Loki cries out, his body is shaking fiercely at every touch, tears are now flowing down his frightened face. And out of the blue, a strange sensation hits Steve hard as he feels those hot tears dropping to his arm. He does not know what it is at first, then the blonde realises, he wants something else, something more than just a crying and trapped prince for him to fuck... he wants something else... something...

Loki seems to aware of the sudden change too. He looks at his brother's teammate with hope mixed confusion in his eyes. This is the first time Steve reacts like this, Loki is always good at reading people's minds, but the Captain is too mysterious to see through. Loki was bewildered at that since the first time he met him, and he had thought the guy was quite interesting, but now Loki regrets thinking like that. He does not like mysterious things in the situation he is in.

Much to the prince's grateful, Steve releases his grasp, standing up and turning to leave. He quickly gets himself out of the room and locks the door, leaving Loki there alone. Then, Steve goes straight to his study, plopping himself down at his chair with a pensive expression. The thing he wants, he needs to think twice carefully.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me too much time, to be honest, it's quite boring, lol.

The next few days are quite peaceful for Loki, for some reason he does not know, Steve has left him here alone since the first time both of them were about to have sexual intercourse in the room. Every day, servants in the house are in charge of bringing him food and clothes, it was awkward at first but things have been put in place little by little. 

Loki is still locked in the room with the chain in his ankle. But it is enough since his cage is now a large bedroom, master bedroom, maybe, unlike his previous birdcage which was bored and cold. The room is warm and comfortable, making Loki relax until he remembers where he is and what is locking his leg. Yet, not having Steve's appearance is good, without the blonde abusing him, his body is healed now, the bruises are almost faded.

Loki entertains himself with the books on the shelf, sometimes, he sits on a window bench to enjoy the view, there are always people in black suits standing around the place. Surely this house is guarded heavily, so... Suppose Loki can unlock the chain and creep out of the room, he still has trouble with escaping, eyes are everywhere.

Loki sits huddled on the window bench and unknowingly falls as sleep, perhaps finally, Steve is getting bored of him and soon will decide to throw him away, Loki is glad if his thoughts become true. His eyelids heavily dropping, he dreams of that pink prospect. But once again, the Norns do not give Loki the peace he is desperate for. When he wakes up, Loki finds himself lying on the soft and comfortable mattress with the big arms of the familiar figure wrapping him close, his body begins to shiver uncontrollably.

A sheer terror of a panic attack rapidly surges inside him, his body trembles violently as he watches those ocean eyes gradually open.

******

Steve has been thinking about it a lot, even in his sleep, the dream about that future also visits him, it is vivid as if it is already his real reality. It has taken him almost six days long to contemplate, if he truly desires for that thing, he has to find a way to balance it with his role in the organisation. This is not an easy decision to make, Steve knows it could bring potential threats in the future or even obstruct Hydra's goal to dominate the world. The thing he wants will probably become his weakness. The enemies - the superheroes could use it against him. And Steve cannot let that happens-

"Just what are you thinking about?"

A female voice yanks Steve out of his thoughts, he looks at a long black hair woman who is sitting at the couch in his study, Steve does not believe he did not notice her coming in, yet he says nothing.

"You look so absorbed in your thoughts." The woman starts again when she gets no replies from Steve, then standing up and pacing towards him, she sits on his pedestal desk and leans closer down, her face is close to Steve's enough for him to feel her breath. "And has someone ever told you that you are so charming every time you being thoughtful?" She adds, a hand coming to touch Steve's face but he avoids it.

"I thought you were doing your mission, Sarkissian. Is everything put in place?"

Steve gets up and walks towards the large glass window to look at the garden, it is green, much like Loki's eyes.

"I've done all the works you commanded, and I'd love it if you call me Ophelia, Sir. The way you call me my surname makes me feel so distant, you know?"

Steve sighs. The woman who calls herself Ophelia has been annoying him, he knows what she wants, he is observant enough to notice the desire in her eyes. The same type of people usually sees through each other. She wants Steve, as much as how Steve wants Loki, they are literally the same, except for the fact that Steve has what he desires, while she has not.

Ophelia has a good looking tho, to be fair, her long black hair and light skin remind Steve of Loki. But her hair is not as dark as his lover, skin too, not pale enough to compare, furthermore, she is not Loki, but still a good aide, she is talented. Steve cannot just get rid of her just because she is annoying, it would be a waste.

"Not just me calling you like that, Sarkissian."

He says and gives her a cold shoulder. Then turning to leave before she can even reply. Seriously, Steve has nothing to do with that woman but business.

Leaving her in his study alone, he goes straight to the bedroom, she will get out of the house soon if knowing Steve has no mood to spend time for her, nearly a week has he spent his nights in his study. Not that Steve does not want to be with Loki, he just needed time to mull over.

Yes, Steve has decided, he wants it. 

No matter what will happen in the future. He wants to have a future with Loki, and something they both love.

Steve enters the bedroom, a sight of his lover sleeping peacefully at the window bench melts his heart. He quietly approaches the prince and gently carries him to the bed. He holds Loki close to him, making sure his lover is safe in his arms. Steve watches Loki, watches his chest heaving steadily, then smiling at the way Loki unconsciously nuzzles more into him to get his warm.

Steve kisses his forehead, and then his hair, inhaling the addicted scent, God, he missed him. How could Steve leave his lover here alone for about a week? Loki surely felt lonely, did he not?

Not just Steve tho, his body missed Loki's, too. His member arching, screaming to be buried in the tight hot and yummy hole of his lover. But Loki's relaxed expression is what stops Steve from waking him up, fucking him hard, and making him cry out his name. So Steve takes a deep breath to calm down, then closing his eyes and forcing himself fall into sleep. His cock can wait, sooner or later it is going to get what it is thirsty for, also, it is going to have a duty to do as soon as Loki awakes, so there is no need to rush. 

Steve is wakened up by a vibration of the small body in his strong arms. He slowly opens his eyes to see those emerald orbs full of water staring at his with such apprehension.

His lover's reaction sometimes saddens him somehow, no matter how much he tries to be gentle... or harshly. Steve has tried literally every way to tame his sweetheart but Loki has not changed that attitude towards him yet, has not fully welcomed him yet. Steve quickly pushes those feelings away and smiles, a hand coming to stroke the jet black hair.

"Hello, kitten."

He frowns a little bit at the way Loki tenses and the soft whimpers escape his mouth.

"Shhh, sweetheart, it's okay, it's okay, hush... Baby, you're alright."

Steve smoothes him, rubbing his back in calming circles until he feels Loki relaxes and leans into him. He knows what this is, he knows why Loki reacts that way - the prince usually being frightened and then suddenly falls into the arms of his capture - he shows many familiar symptoms of the Stockholm syndrome. Of course, months have passed by, Loki has spent all of his time under the grip of his kidnapper, and this is not rare for a lost and fallen bird somehow develops positive feelings towards its capture, or at least, clinging to any kindness to survive. 

Just so Steve acknowledges he is getting somewhere with Loki, his captive, his slave, his lover, and his... child-bearer.

The last thought makes him hard, his erection angrily screaming and growing big, asking to be freed from his trousers to taste the lean and yummy body, to breed him, to impregnate him. That is what Steve wants, he wants a child who shares both of his and Loki's DNA. A child - something both of them love, something strong enough to keep Loki willing to stays by his side.

Loki seems to sense something dangerously and ambiguous in the blonde's eyes, he huddles up and steels himself for the assault which always comes, for every sickening thing he knows Steve is going to do with him. But he never prepares himself for what is coming next.

"Turn into a woman, Loki."

And then, his body starts transforming as Steve’s wish.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only reason I turn Loki into a woman is that I don't find myself have a will to write Mpreg. It's strange that I can... um, sometimes read this kind of stories but unable to write stuff like that tho. My personal view is that one must have a female reproductive system to get pregnant, and I'm not completely into writing intersex, so that is why I have my story goes down this way. Pardon this old school girl, lol.  
> Maybe I will write that stuff in the future, or try to, hopefully, like, try the new taste, I'm not sure.

Loki squirms and shivers as the transformation starts, his hair lengthens, the whole body becomes smaller and leaner, his chest grows bigger. It has been quite a while since he used his female form, it feels a little strange, even uncomfortable as his own magic submits someone else's words.

When the progress finally finishes, Loki hears Steve gasps, she warily opens her eyes to see the blonde staring at her unblinkingly, and she does not dare to move, even though every fibre in her body is screaming, wanting to run away, to hide away as far as possible from the man who is holding her. There is something in his eyes, something dangerous, and Loki is well aware she is going to get into more trouble if staying still, and it terrifies her even more when she can do nothing to prevent it.

Steve is stunned at the sight of the heavenly beauty who is so tiny in his grip. For a moment, he just stares at Loki as if she is the most beautiful living being he has ever seen, as if he is drinking down every single feature on her face, as well as every single curve of her body. Who knows his prince can become such a graceful princess? And when the bright emerald orbs eye him, he cannot help but crave for kissing them and having them flooding with tears as he fucks Loki relentlessly until she faints, until her flat belly is swollen.

He gradually moves his head closer to place a kiss on the soft and pink lips, feeling them trembling in confusion. Steve’s hands start to slit into the now oversize shirt to explore the silky skin, feeling his love shudders, his fingers continue to study the sensitive flesh, until they are greeted by her soft breasts, drawing a whimper out of his princess' throat. The sounds have enough strength to pull a growl from the blonde, he gets on top of her swiftly and tears the shirt into two, scaring her simultaneously. 

The pinky nipples are exposed in front of the predator's eyes, and suddenly, he wants to sketch them, but probably this can wait. Right now, he just longs for taking his beauty. 

Steve get excited to taste his love in this new form, he squeezes the breasts nonstop, enjoying the way Loki jerks her body. But... her expression now is a mix of pleasure, desire, enduringness and shame. He tsks, definitely not liking the two last ones, Steve did not care about how his partner feels during sex before, but now when he is fully aware that he wants to build a little family with Loki, some small thing inside him is gradually changing, not so much but still enough for Steve to realise he wants to make Loki feel good too, at least right now.

"Come on, kitten. It's time for you to open yourself up to your man. I'll give you what you desire, there's no point to be ashamed."

He says as his fingers start to massage the bruising breasts, then the nipples, definitely pleased when hearing the princess moans quietly, which makes his erection grow bigger. It twists painfully, asking for nothing but to be jammed on her cunt, to spill cum all over her inside, to breed her. Yet Steve suppresses himself, trying to prepare for Loki, after all, this may be the first time his little lover has sex in the female form, right? Thinking about Loki might be fucked by someone else before really pushes Steve over the edge, he definitely does not like the thought of Loki presenting her hole for anyone else. Well, he can try to see by himself. Loki is his, goddess or god, princess or prince, female or male, still his.

After a pleasant moment of playing with the pink nipples and making them hard, Steve leans down to nuzzle his face in the princess' slender neck, causing Loki to startle with a whimper, her voice sounds like heaven, his hands lower, caressing her abdomen, it is so flat, so smooth that the idea of making it round with his babies inside almost drives him crazy.

Steve moves down until his greedy mouth touch the top of Loki’s left breast, his hot tongue sticking out to lick the little pinky cherry nipple, causing the goddess to moan quietly, which only motivates the blonde to suck it with the enthusiasm of an alpha male.

His hand comes down, parts Loki's pressing thighs to access the now soaking cunt. Steve grins, he has just stimulated her torso a little while and she is already that wet. Who knows an innocent-looking princess has such a lewd body?

Loki moans when the man playing with her pussy, his finger starts to pump into the little cunt, one finger, then two, then three, each time Steve moves his digits, it feels like he is setting her on fire, the searing pain is too much to bear. It hurts, and she knows it will get worse once Steve is bored with those big fingers and replaces them with something even bigger.

Again, Loki is helpless, she can do nothing but expose herself for the man who has devoured Loki in her male form, and does he lose his interest in it and want to taste something new? Like her female form? And how long does it take Steve to grow bored with it too? When does he throw this puppet away? When does she get her freedom?

Something hot and wet licks around her lips, dragging Loki out of her thoughts. Steve’s playful tongue parts the soft lips and makes its way deep into her mouth, grazing along the pearl teeth then trying to pass through them. Loki obediently darts her tongue out to meet his, and that action draws a pleasant groan out of the blonde. She does not need any warning, has already known what kinds of disciplines and punishments Steve would do if his captive misbehaved.

Steve decides to end the foreplay, confident that his princess can take the monster that is hiding in his trousers. He yanks his fingers out, grinning at the way her cunt spasming so desperately, not wanting the digits to leave, Loki's body is somehow honest and expansive than Loki herself.

His cock aches and cannot wait any more, it twists painfully, popping up and down as Steve swiftly undresses and positions himself between his princess' legs. The large hands clutch Loki’s soft and small thighs, spreading them further, exposing the spasming cunt in front of the predator's hungry eyes, her body expresses loud and clear that it wants him too. His grin grows wider when Loki blushes and averts her eyes in embarrassment.

"Aww, little one, don't look away, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Just admit you love it, it's easy, baby girl. I want you to enjoy it, too. Glue your eyes on me. Come on."

The words are so gentle and affectionate that Loki almost loses her mind, she obeys quickly, eyes and ears trying to search for another comfort from the voice of the man who has put her in so much pain and complicated feelings. Loki’s eyes finally gaze at Steve's, begging him to have mercy and give her a little kindness.

"Mmm, you're such a good girl, aren't you."

Steve leans down to kiss her forehead, scattering caressive kisses on the gorgeous face. Loki moans and raises her head slightly, desperate to get more, her hands instinctively hold the blonde's face as Steve moves his head down to suck the slim neck, marking every inch on the skin, printing a clear message that this body belongs to his. 

He holds his cock, guiding it towards the spasming entrance, nuzzling it around the outer and inner lips, dressing it with her vaginal fluid, drawing a lustful moan out of his Loki. Steve grins ear to ear, he knows she wants him too, and he knows she will become a good wife and wise mother. He knows it, and cannot wait to accomplish that future he has seen these days.

With that urge coupled with the desire to know whether Loki is still a virgin in this form or not, Steve gradually inserts his glistening member inside the yearning cunt, he suppresses himself as much as he can, saying to himself that this may be her first time, therefore, he must be gentle, which is a hard task as Loki is groaning, her hole is clenching and spasming against the sudden invader.

Her face is convulsed with pain mixed with pleasure, begging Steve not to be hasty. The blonde struggles to keep his pace steadily until he hits home, the itch to fuck Loki roughly almost seizes him, almost drives him crazy. How can Steve blame himself for that? He has always been into rough sex and blood. Yet he somehow wants to make it easy for Loki, after all, she is super tight, like no one has excavated the cunt before.

He stays still for a moment, spending that time to soothe the crying princess who is writhing underneath him with kisses on her head. After the whimpering voice starts to subside, Steve grabs her hips, eyes glue on their private parts as he slowly drags his cock out of her cunt, then chortling with delight at a sight of red blood covers his member and staining the mattress. 

The friction makes Loki writhes again, she lets out a soft moan when her inside is empty and sore. She does not need to see her lower part to know it is not only soaking with slick but also with blood. Loki has never had sex before, in both of her forms, until Steve. All of her years have been spent on magic and books, she has yearned for pleasures of knowledge, not sensuality. A decent and virtuous princess has nothing to do with carnal desire. And Loki does not know what she has become under the hands of a hungry wolf masquerades itself as a human being... A sex slave who is so frightened of her master.

"Damn, how could it be like that? Does this mean that no one has stuck their cock into this little yummy pussy, huh, baby girl? Such an unexpected surprise when a thousand years old goddess is still a maiden, oh, you were a maiden a few seconds ago. You are officially lost your virginity to the man of your life, it feels so good. Fuck! You are bleeding so beautiful, my little cunt."

The blonde moans, letting loose a barrage of profanity. The fact that he has just taken Loki’s virginity, that he is her man is too much to bear, and Steve is dying in happiness than ever. 

The blood is still leaking out of the entrance, staining the mattress like red roses blossom in a snowfield. Loki bursts into tears, her hands get off him, how could Steve say those words? It is rude... He used to be a righteous man with a warm teddy bear smile on his face, she still remembers how sweet and gentle he was in the very first time they met, and now that same man is raping and verbal harassing her. Steve says it as though Loki is not a princess but a dirty cheap prostitute who has lost her virginity for so long. 

The sobs are heartbreaking enough for Steve to grimace, already feeling guilty and wanting to kick himself for hurting her feelings like that. But he means no offensive though, just a habit to swear during sex. And he does not expect to see Loki crying like this, he has had a countless time making love with Loki and never has he received such a reaction. Yes, he wants to hurt Loki, wants to make her scream and cry as he fucks her relentlessly, but not in this way. The blonde reaches his hands out to sweep up the constantly falling tears, trying to soothe his woman, almost wanting to kick himself again as he watches the way Loki flinches.

"Shhh, okay, it's okay now. I'll not say that again if you don't like it, sweetheart. Shhh, I didn't mean to insult you. I'm sorry, baby girl. It's okay, it's okay now."

Steve says softly, breathing a sigh of relief mixed with sadness when the princess leans into his touch so desperately as if she is with someone else who is not Steve and trying to cling to whoever she thinks the person is to get away from the rude words.

He waits patiently until the sobs finally die down, and Loki finally realises who she is clinging to. She blushes with embarrassment and sniffs, pulling all of her left strength just to whisper "I don't... like it..." like a kid who has been misbehaved then grinding her teeth, waiting for punishment. But Steve just smiles gently and strokes her cheeks.

"Then I won't like it, too. I'll make it better, okay?"

Loki instantly nods, her shoulders sag down, his strokes are so nice, she loves it when Steve touches her like that. It seems like every pain can be effaced by the touch of the same man who causes it in the first place. Steve is so... kind. He is... He is definitely the only one in the nine realms that really cares about her. 

"I'll make it better, are you hurt, baby?"

Steve’s voice is so soft, and full of fondness, dragging Loki out of her thoughts. Yes, it hurts, every muscle is being burnt, but Loki does not want to be honest about that, afraid it will vex the blonde and he will leave her again just as he did last time. Loki still remembers being so scared of Steve when he fondled her male form, making the Captain left her alone for one week. She craves for his gentleness, wanting more and more, starving to receive the care from her... capture? No, Steve is not, he is not a bad guy, he is her man. So Loki shooks her head. 

"N-No... I'm well."

That makes Steve smile, he leans down to kiss her lips tenderly, tasting the sweetness of it, acknowledging what his woman longs for.

"Ok then, kitten. Let your man take care of you."

Loki shudders at the command but she spreads her legs wider, presenting a lovely view of the blood staining and pink rose pussy for the man. She can take it, Loki says to herself, if pleasing him can give her his care in return, then she can take it.

Steve groans, eyeing the delicious picture before him. Loki makes him want to take, to breed her so well, to pump his load all over her ovaries. His hand guides the thick and long cock, pressing the head against Loki's tight entrance, causing the princess to shiver. Steve slowly thrusts in, the heat inside his lover drives him crazy, he then waits for her to get used to it before moving. Each thrust becomes faster and faster, the slapping sound echoes the room every time their flesh meets. 

Loki moans harmonise with his, they are singing such a lascivious song. The female form is more sensitive than the male one, she has already lost into the pleasant feeling that Steve drags her in, too wrap up into it to sense his plan. Loki grabs her breast in one hand, another one comes down to touch the prepuce, then massaging them simultaneously. It feels so good, Steve opens her eyes and shows her the whole new world of adults that she has never been interested in before.

Everything is wonderful until it is not anymore.

"Ahh!! That's... Baby girl, you're so good. So perfect. For me. For our future babies... Ahhh..."

Steve rambles. And Loki freezes, the arousal has been rising now dies away like fire being extinguished by cold water. She almost cannot trust her hearing.

"What..."

She asks breathlessly, her body stiffens despite being pounded relentlessly by the man, she eyes the blonde unbelievably. 

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Oh, I haven't told you, right? My bad. Sorry baby, I'm about to breed you so well, and you're going to take all of my seed then become a good mother of our babies. Isn't that great?" 

So this is it? The reason Steve orders Loki to turn into this form is to get... It cannot be like that. She does not want to...

"No... No!!!"

The princess starts to thrash around, trying to get away from the man and his big monster which is intruding her lithe body on and on. Loki cannot let that happens, she does not want to give birth to a child while knowing how bad the future may be for it, for the child of a Jotun monster. Her mother, Frigga, the goddess of fertility, household, motherhood, love, and marriage, she can sense when a goddess gives birth to her child. And once Odin knows it, her former father and his Asgardian people may hunt the kid if they find out its mother is still alive. Loki is no longer unusual towards the fact how much Asgardians loath Jotuns.

And she just cannot...

"No, I don't want it. No... No... I don't w-"

The weak words are cut by a dangerous growl, her body goes deadly at the fury in the man's voice. Tears rapidly flood the emerald eyes as Loki stares at Steve's face. The tender smile is gone, and so is the warm ocean eyes. All are replaced by exasperation and frustration that drape over his features. Loki cannot understand, she also does not want to, is it not good enough, just the two of them? Why does he need something like babies? This may risk their lives if the gods find out. Why does he not ponder about this concern?

Steve is frustrated, his hands grip Loki’s wrists and pin them against the mattress. He did not even think his woman would react this way. She has just opened herself up to him a little, and Steve has fooled himself a bit when thinking Loki would willingly obey and did whatever he wanted her to do. Is it not great to have something that they both love? Is an idea about building a family not a sweet thing? Unless she does not want to stay with him. There is no way Steve will let her leave.

"What do you mean, Loki? You want to run away from me? Is there some asshole you are falling in love with? Or am I not good enough for you? Or does the noble goddess fear to have children with a human?"

Steve shouts at Loki, making her tremble violently. He has stopped his movement, and the cock is still buried deep inside his princess. Steve is well aware that this is so unreasonable of him to snarl those illogical anger at his little one, but he cannot help and has no idea why Loki does not want to have his babies.

"N... No..."

Her tiny and trembling voice almost too faint to hear. A panic attack is surging up inside Loki, this is the first time she witnesses this side of the blonde. Full of irritation. His grips at her wrists are too tight she almost thinks Steve is going to break them. How can she tell him the reason? Steve may not be a good man, he keeps her in cages and freely plays with her body whenever he wants, but at least he is the only one who does not abandon her like the rest of the world does. Steve... loves Loki. She can feel his affectionateness. Loki is afraid that if she told him the truth about her monstrous lineage to explain how it could impact the future of their unborn child, Steve would not want to keep her anymore, and he would throw her away because no one wants to allow a disgusting monster into their house, right?

If only Loki knew Steve had already learnt about her Jotun blood from Thor.

She has no idea.

"Then why?"

The blonde demands an answer, he presses his hips further, touching the deepest part inside Loki’s vagina, making her whine in pain. Steve tries, but he cannot suppress the anger that is boiling his blood. When the goddess has not yet provided him with an excuse for a long moment, he knows he is done waiting. 

Steve pushes Loki's wrists above her head, blocking them with one large and strong hand. The other one grabs her waist painfully, causing Loki to hiss. He moves his hips again, this time stabbing her cunt mercilessly with each prod. Like a frustrated kid who vented his anger on a broken toy.

"I have no time for this nonsense, little girl! Wanting it or not, you'll have to take my seed."

She cries out, begging Steve to stop, but it seems like the man only takes her deeper, faster, and harder every time she implores.

His hand leaves the bruised waist and moves to press against the flat lower abdomen, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin as if he is trying to grab some of her organs. 

"This fucking womb is mine, for my babies. You hear that, my little whore?!"

There again... Those insulting words... It hurts Loki so bad, both physically and mentally. She sobs violently, but Steve does not care anymore, he just continues to pound into her like a wild beast in its mating season.

After what feels like a lifetime, a climax hits him hard, at that time, Loki's lower part has already felt nothing but numbness.

"I'm about to fill you up, kitten. I'm about to make your womb fulfil its purpose. There's no other way to go. You're mine, mine!"

Steve states as he claims Loki with his cum, his head tilts back, eyes squeezing, moaning aloud as he spills the hot fluid all over her inside despite the goddess' protest. After a long moment of staying still, Steve finally opens his eyes slowly and looks at the mess underneath him.

The woman lies there, eyes filled with tears, little sobs escape the trembling lips uncontrollably even though she is trying her best to shut her mouth, her chest heaves heavily.

Steve frees her wrists and pulls his cock out of Loki’s entrance, delighting when seeing little pinkish hot cum streaming out of the hoe like a waterfall flowing down a towering canyon wall. Loki whimpers at the loss, her body misses the feeling of that long and thick monster immediately, and now knowing that just makes her feel more ashamed of herself. Her mind goes blank, she cannot think straight anymore, her body hurts, so is her soul. Loki is too tired to move, so she just cries and lies dormant like a broken doll, letting the blonde do whatever he wants with her body. 

The Captain lies down next to her, his strong arms wrap around the goddess' skinny body and pull her closer to his chest. Their strengthless bodies covered by sweat, brushing against and mingling with each other. 

"It's wonderful, my darling. Just thinking about our future, we'll raise our children together, and you'll love it. You'll love being a sweet mother you're always meant to be."

Steve rambles, feeling Loki shudders at the words. It is okay then, he has time, he can teach his princess her place later, showing her how not to piss her man off, and how to submit to him. He has time. 

His eyelids are heavy, the sandman already visits him, gifting beautiful dreams about the future Steve has painted so vividly. So he nuzzles his face into Loki’s soft hair and quickly falls asleep, leaving the princess there with her empty mind.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was supposed to be short, I mean, I decided it would be approximately from 10.000 to 20.000 words. Now it is ~17.000... Shit:)))))))) and I have not even reached the middle yet, still in the doorway!!!! 😬

Loki lies stills in Steve’s arms, her eyes keep staring into nothingness. She has stopped crying for a while, her tear gland is dried, feeling numb enough to think she has lost all of her senses. Loki wishes her mind could go blank again to have non of any agony like this. What just happened feels like a nightmare and she has no idea how to dispel it or wake up from a sleep filled with such a horrible nightmare, although her eyes are already opened, the nightmare is continuing. 

Steve unconsciously shifts his position, lying on his back, freeing the princess. 

For a long moment, Loki just stares at the grey ceiling unblinkingly, she does not know what to do and almost forgets what she is until her dry eyes itch uncomfortably. Steve's even breaths get her attention, it somehow brings Loki back to what she felt before he revealed he wanted to impregnate her, Steve was gentle and warm... Her throat is blocked by bile at the sudden inappropriate feelings. Loki recalls what he angrily growled at her. 

Does she want to run away from him?  
Loki truly is not certain what the proper answer is. Where else can she go? Sometimes Loki thinks about escaping, but always, he comes, scaring her, caring for her, and all the determination Loki has gathered usually die down. Additionally, outside is dangerous enough to hold her back, this realm is under Thor's protection. 

Is there some asshole she is falling in love with?  
If what Loki has felt for him was not symptoms of a syndrome then it would be a yes. 

Or is he not good enough for her?  
It is too complicated to find out even a simple answer. 

Or does the noble goddess fear to have children with a human?  
Not that Loki fears to have children with a human. She just fears having children when all of the nine realms are hostile towards her. 

And the last thought draws the princess into reality, reminding Loki of what the man left inside her. 

Loki tilts her head aside to look at Steve. He looks so relaxed and carefree, even satisfied with what he just did. Not like his victim. 

She thinks she should do something, and the blonde must be in a deep sleep, he will not find out, hopefully.

Loki sits up, the pressure on her groin from the sudden movement makes her groans quietly in pain. She slips off the bed, almost collapsing to the floor, a sight of the bloodstain in the mattress looks so horrible, causing Loki blush in embarrassment.

She stumbles to the bathroom and turns the shower on, not even bother to adjust the temperature. The cold water pours over her body, making her shiver, washing away the sticky mixture of blood and cum, it is disgusting. Loki runs a hand down to touch her vagina, two fingers dig inside the bruised and stretched hole, trying to open it again. The goddess shudders, legs almost off-balance, cheeks redden as if she just caught a fever. Another hand leans against the wall, Loki closes her eyes and continues to pump her fingers deeper inside, hurting herself, forcing the cum Steve left there to drip out. Little moans escape her lips, Loki immediately shuts her mouth up, scaring that the man who is lying on the bed could hear, but she cannot help, her body again betrays her, it continues to push lustful sounds out of Loki's mouth. The sensation makes her weak, she hates it, also hates the fact that she somewhat enjoys it. Loki bites her lips, fingers presses, stretches, and scissors as deep as they can, each condensed fluid slowly courses through her tunnel and falls onto the floor, mingling with water and flowing down the drain.

She does not want what Steve wants, it frightens her to the core, Loki just cannot-

A propulsive force comes from the behind, pressing Loki’s head against the wall, drawing a loud noise from the impact, making Loki scream at the sudden excruciating pain. Right before she can even figure out what is happening to her, she feels her wrist is trapped painfully in a powerful grip, yanking her fingers out of the little hole, a furious growl from a familiar voice makes the entire bathroom shake violently.

"How dare you?"

And this is enough for Loki to understand what is going on and what will happen next. She begins to sobs intensely, skull still being thundered from the aftermath of the impact, her whole body losing control and trembling unstoppable. Loki can sense the outrage mingling in every breath that flows hot air in her skin, his face is very near her shoulder, like a wolf that readies to tear a miserable prey. 

Steve snarls again, obviously being annoyed by the cry. His body pushes her against the wall. 

"Shut the fuck up, you little bitch! How dare you waste my seed??"

Loki squeezes her eyes again, steeling herself to endure more, she knows it. She endeavours to bite her tongue and press her lips hard, trying to shush as Steve wish, but the sobs still run off the throat, adding more irritation to the man behind, the taste of iron now fulfils her mouth.

"What the fuck are you doing, huh? Answer me. ANSWER ME!!!"

The goddess almost thinks her eardrums are holed by his deafening howl, she starts to cry out loud, unable to suppress her fear anymore. How can Loki answer his question...? She just... cannot...

After a moment of waiting but having no reply from the small figure that he is treading on her neck. Steve decides he does not need to hear her answer anymore, instead, he snarls again.

"You want to take my cum out? Good, Loki, what a good girl you are. As you wish. I'll help."

Loki is left in confusion, she is so frightened to digest what he means. Yet she knows for sure it will not be a good thing for her. It does not be long until Loki feels something is forcing it way into her vagina, something cold and hard. It pumps water all into her inside, making Loki jump and yelp. Her womb feels like it is about to explode. The fresh cold water fills up and escapes from her sore cunt on and on, bringing out the blonde's seed, as she wishes.

Sharp teeth dig into her shoulder, making ways for red blood to stream out, and water flows down from the shower only puts more pain, only pushes the poor soul deeper into agony. 

Shame...

Shameful covers the whole slender body. Loki weeps bitterly, yet all she can do is expose her flesh for the man, wordlessly begging for his mercy. Her thighs tremble violently, and she collapses on her knees, creating a painful sound. Water vies for pouring out of the little hole, causing Loki to ache in another forced sensation. 

Loki just kneels there and sniffs, Steve’s shadow covers her entire body, she shrinks into herself, fully aware he is not done with her yet. 

Steve turns off the shower and tosses away the bum gun, it clinks onto the floor, he watches the way Loki jumps at the sudden loud sound, the tiny and fearful figure curling up beneath him somewhat chases his anger away, even drags guilt to his heart. Maybe he is a bit aggressive. Yet he pushes away these thoughts, Loki must be punished for against his will, so that she will not dare to backslide. 

"Just helped you clean up, satisfied now? I'm too lenient to you, ain't I? And look how bad you are spoilt."

He yanks her hair in a painful grab and turns her head around so that he can glare at Loki’s face, waiting for the noise she is making to die down. The princess tries to stay silent, knowing that every whimper she makes now just makes things get worse. 

"Hasn't anyone told you that a good girl mustn't vex her Daddy, princess?" 

Loki shakes her head, understanding this is not a good idea, but neither is not answering. It terrifies her, but leaving Steve’s eyes and looking somewhere else to find a little imaginary safety will just anger the man more, his ocean eyes now are full of hurricanes. Loki grimaces when feeling the grip at her hair is tighter. 

"Well, guess I have to teach you now. Being a bad girl ain't fun to me, my fucking whore." 

Steve’s hand removes from Loki’s hair and yanks her upper arm, pulling her along with him to the counter. At there he shoves the goddess on it, his body heavily weights down on her, their flesh touches each other, the naked lithe figure that is trembling beneath him makes Steve rock hard, his member has already swollen again, ready for the punishment.

Loki is almost smothered, her stomach is pressed against the counter, sending a chill to all of her nerves. And she feels it, feels the hot and sticky cock tapping her inner thighs. The princess screws up her eyes in an effort not to think about what kind of punishment she is going to get. 

Steve does not bother to prepare for her, a bad girl needs to be punished and punishment has no place for preparation. He just slams into Loki with all of his superhuman strength, his hand gags her mouth, another one slaps the soft ass, the action surges Loki forward, leaving there a red and burned mark. Steve moves instantly on purpose, hitting her G spot on and on, knowing that her body is aching for more. 

Tears spill over Loki’s cheeks, her vision comes blurry, each moan turns into a muffled sound that is tearing her throat. The fact that her body is enjoying this kind of punishment so much is destroying Loki. The goddess is aware that when Steve reaches his end, he is going to cum inside her again, again and again. There is no way to escape this fate, this future he has decided for them. Suddenly, Loki feels the burn in her scalp, and here she is, in the reflection of the mirror. Steve is clutching a handful of her hair, forcing her to face the bathroom mirror, and he is jamming into Loki so cruel like a predatory beast. 

"Do you know how wet you are right now? Do you know how much your body needs mine? It was designed to take all of my cum and being swollen with my babies, yet you just fucking forced my seed out! Like a bad bitch!" 

The blonde shouts, his glaring eyes meet Loki’s in the mirror, although he understands it pains his lover every time he says something rude to her, he gives a fuck right now, just like she gave a fuck about his dream. He speeds up the pace, drowning himself into the sensation that he knows he is not going to have enough of it, and waiting, waiting for the climax, not his. So he stops cursing and crashes his lips on Loki’s skin instead, sucking her sensitive flesh brutally, savouring the blood that is still leaking out, successfully switching the agonizing choked noise into a more-like lascivious one. 

The sounds of flesh greeting each other are loud enough to drown the muffled moans. Loki thinks it is supposed to be a punishment, but Steve makes her feel so good in a completely no good way. Despite already being aware the Captain is going to fulfil her inside again and all her effort to take the previous sperm out has gone in vain, Loki still cannot deny the lust of the flesh that is surging up so strong. The reflection of two libidinous bodies in the mirror despises and mocks her to no end. Steve is chewing her shoulder and neck as if he is a wolf that devouring a dying prey, and the prey loves it. This is so disgraceful. Her G spot is hitting over and over again, it is so good she even forgets how the sore sensation in her cunt feels like. Then Loki feels it, the wave of a climax, she is about to cum. 

This is exactly what Steve wants, judging by the way the goddess' skin is reddening and breath is getting quickly and deeply, she is getting closer to an orgasm. He then withdraws his cock from her cunt, shoving away the protest is raging in him and reminding himself that this is a punishment. Steve grins predatory when hearing Loki groans in shock and disappointment. Looking in the mirror, he sees his lover is staring at him in disbelief, then she begins to sob again, eyes begging him for something that he believes even Loki herself does not know. Does she want to beg him to get off her or does she want to beg him to plug her up again? Well, Steve deems the last one it is. But he waits until she turns off, then thrusting in, surging her body forward, delighting in the sobbing noise she makes. 

Steve repeats the action, shoving Loki close to another climax just to pull out, over and over again, until he feels her body becomes jelly and boneless, thinking that this is enough for Loki to know what it feels like when she objects. His hand leaves her mouth and trails along to play with the bosom. 

"This is what happens if you let me down, I'm going to cum all of my seed in your fucking womb again and we don't take it back this time, are we clear, sweetheart?" 

Loki bites her lips, hesitation in her face, if only the blonde asked for anything else, she could willingly do it, anything, just not this. Her inner sense of right and wrong are fighting over each other. The pressure at her chest is growing stronger, indicating that Steve is not patient anymore. Finally, Loki parts her lips. 

"Please, don't... Anything but this-"

She never has a chance to finish the sentence, Steve’s hand swiftly strangles her, cutting off the airway. Loki wails violently, her hands grab his strong wrist in an attempt to pull it out, to free her throat, but it is useless, the Captain is more powerful than her. She feels his member intruding her lower part again, her body jolts every time Steve thrusts in viciously. Loki tries to thrash, to fight desperately. Still, the struggle is not last long, hot fluid rapidly makes its way to her womb, overflowing out and dropping on the floor. The princess is struck dumb with fear, she cannot even cry anymore, it feels just like dying. 

After done ejaculating inside his lover, Steve suddenly lets go of Loki who is now too weak to stand firm on her feet, and she immediately collapses, her chin accidentally hits the edge of the counter hard enough to be cut, blood spills out on her neck, on the counter, on the floor, everywhere. She yelps painfully and curls up on the floor, her hands put up to cover the wound but the dark red and metallic scent liquid just continues to course out and slips through her fingers. Loki looks like she is in a great deal of pain, she hates being weak and fragile like what she is right now, hates the flesh cage that imprisons her soul, hates the way it is sobbing and hiccupping incessantly. 

Guilt vies for stabbing Steve’s heart, the anger quickly fades away. Seeing Loki wailing in pain like this, he instantly regrets treating his little one too harshly. Literally every cell in his body is screaming that this is his fault, not hers, not his poor Loki’s. 

Steve snatches a towel nearby before kneeling to gently help the goddess to sit up, which causes the princess to startle and hastily brings both of her hands to cover her mouth, to shut the sobbing noise so desperately, as though Loki is assuming that the cry is once again infuriating Steve, that he is about to hurt her one more time. He frowns, feeling like a first-class heel when his woman reacts this way. The blond gets mad again, but not at the poor lithe figure who is so frightened to realise that he is touching her so tenderly right now, no, he is mad at himself for literally every fucking thing he has just done in this damn bathroom. 

His hand cups Loki’s face, gently sweeping away those tears which are watering down her cheeks. Another hand comes to remove two bloody hands from the princess' mouth, revealing a picture of her blood-stained lower face. Steve’s heart nearly stops as many pangs of his conscience are ripping it right at this instant, especially when he feels the stiffness of her body every time his skin contacts hers. 

"Oh, darling, I'm- I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to hurt you like this, I'm so so sorry, Loki, oh..."

The Captain mumbles as he cleans Loki, washing away all the blood with the towel before folding it up to press against the raw wound as mildly as he can, yet he still draws a painful whimper out of her throat. Speaking of the throat, it is already severe black and blue, the marks of his fingers at her skin are awful, although he loves seeing Loki wearing those bruises made by him, they look so wrong at this moment and only fill him with remorse. Steve endeavours to think about anything else to say rather than just a bunch of meaningless apologies, but nothing jumps into his head, he is almost speechless. The fact that Loki was against his will does not matter anymore, what actually matters is that he has pushed the most important person in his life to the edge of a panic attack. He has really messed up with her mentality. Like a fool who was blind in heat. 

Hearing the blonde's words makes Loki shudder, she sniffs quietly. This man, he is so complex, he was just too cruel like a maniac a second ago and now reacting so tender like a caring lover. Loki has to admit she is unable to keep pace with him. She stays silent all the time, letting the blonde do whatever he wants, the goddess would not mind if he hurt her again though, maybe Steve could help her end this miserable life and send her straight to hell by his torture, being there would be a thousand times better. 

She feels his arm wrapping around and pulling her closer to him. There is a light pressure at her head where Steve rests his chin on, he then bills and coos, his body slowly rocks back and forth, drawing hers to follow his pace, attempting to soothe his victim. 

"I apologise. I was really mad and only wanted to teach you a lesson. And I lost control. Oh, my poor darling... I promise I will restrain myself to not do that anymore, just don't take it out again, okay? Can you do that? Can you do that for me, little one?" 

The princess squeezes her eyes and nods slowly, a single tear escapes her eye, Loki does not need to gest what "it" means, and she is too boneless to get away from the man.

What is she now? A completely helpless creature at a vicious predator's mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was just coming to a standstill when figuring out what should I do with the punishment, seriously, I really was in a stalemate. I asked my friend's help so many time, and the guy suggested to write Steve ejaculating inside Loki, then he would shove his cock into Loki's mouth and fucked her skull until she passed out and left her there in the cold floor like a bad alpha male. 
> 
> I said "Shit, dude, that's cruel as fuck." and he replied "thAt a pUniShMent, whAt ArE yOu eXpEctiNg?" then I pondered "well, that's a good point, you son of a bitch, I'm in."
> 
> So I did write Steve raping Loki as my friend's suggestion but after my golden boy released his seed, I was once again at a kind of impasse, the idea of blowjob seemed not interesting anymore, like I didn’t know what to do next but still writing and the whole landing-on-her-chin thing was born. And now we have this chapter. Lol.


	8. subplot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan to have Loki tells Steve her reason but someone wanted it so here it is, my mindmap doesn't have this lol, this is an extra chapter. You can skip this one if you like. They're playing the family game now, pttfff (kinda boring to me). 
> 
> Fluff and sweet, maybe. Also didn't plan to have fluff and sweet. And I'm tending to push the process faster (hopefully) to bring Tony in the stage since the current total of words is more than I thought it was supposed to be.

Loki sits leaning her back at the headboard and warily parts her lips to take every spoon of food Steve feeds her, carefully not to open her mouth so wide, it will be painful if she does that. He dutifully uses his thumb to sweep a little soup that glues to the corner of her mouth. 

The wound is sewn already, hiding under a clean bandage. The sore feeling is still lingering, so uneasy, but the man has somewhat lessened it by his care. Steve is so sweet, he has looked after her so wholeheartedly, enough for the princess to almost forget what had happened more than a week ago. But then her mind awakes as though it is pulled out of the wrong path and gets back to reality, in which Loki is nothing but a mere toy for him to play with.

"Can I get back to my original form?"

She asks softly and indistinctly, the way Steve's eyes fix into hers makes Loki flinch, she drops her eyes down to the blanket immediately, holds her breath and waits for the answer, or a shout, can possibly be a punishment.

"After our babies are born, I guess."

A brief moment later, Steve replies moderately, eyes not leaving his woman even a second. A flash of uncomfortableness kindles inside him as he watches Loki lowers her face down in distress. She does stop trying to against him, obediently taking every load of his semen, but in a forceful and reluctant way. The blonde wants more than that, he wants a willing lover to give him what he desires. 

There is a time when Loki was huddling herself in the shower for so long after another fuck, and Steve had to come in to check on her. What upset him was when noticing his presence, Loki was panicked and attempted to scramble away from Steve as he crouched down before the woman who constantly begged him not to punish her, like "please, please, don't, I'm just taking a shower, I'm not attempting to force it out, please, please." and Steve stopped the princess by hugging her and soothed that he knew Loki would not do that and he just wanted to see if she was okay, which took the goddess a few minutes to comprehend his words and relax. After that, Steve had to take her out of there and clean the wet stitched wound to prevent bacteria from other body parts from spreading into it. 

This current state is annoying somehow, but he does not think Loki makes it hard on herself. Steve determines he must make it clear, there has to be something that unnerves her. Steve puts the food down on the nightstand and shifts his position, his palms cup Loki's face to guide her head up, deliberately avoids touching the wound. He speaks, as slowly and tenderly as he can, endeavours to restrains himself as he does not know if her answer will trigger him. 

"Look at me, sweetheart. I need you to look at me properly and answer my question in all honesty. Come on."

When Loki finally dares to raise her emerald eyes to meet Steve's ocean ones, he praises her "Good girl." and gently rubs his thumbs against her cheeks. At least he finds a little bit content as Loki somewhat relaxes in his touch and nods cautiously.

"Now, tell me why you don't want me to release inside you? Just spit out what is in your head, okay?"

He feels Loki startles and tends to turns her head away, to avoid his eyes again, which Steve instantly prevents by tightening his grip a bit, carefully not to hurt her. As soon as the princess starts to whimper, Steve quickly continues in order to assure her.

"Shhhh... It's okay, it's okay. Look, I'm not getting mad at you, little one. Shhh... I just want to know why, there must be some reason, right? We can solve the problem if you tell me what is upsetting you, no pressure, baby, take it easy. Don't make it hard on yourself."

Loki is surprised, she does not think Steve can be this gentle. But how can she tell him about her true descent? No one will love a disgusting blue ice monster, she hates to reveal it, the man may neglect her if he knows about her Jotun blood, and she will be left alone in this realm without a single thing to assure Loki will be safe from Thor and Odin. However, Loki also hates to ruin this precious moment when Steve being kind to her, just a little kind is still enough. She is not a powerful goddess or an honourable princess anymore, these titles are just vanities, Loki right now is nothing more than something lesser than a normal wife house, more than a sex slave... no, Steve is not that kind of man who could possibly do such a horrible thing, the chain and the legcuff are merely things that this gentleman deems she needs them, they must be around her ankle for some purpose. So maybe she is a lover to him, not really. She herself does not know what she is to Steve, has no clue why she doubts that nevertheless.

And why is Loki having those feelings towards him? Towards the human who has done too many... but... too many what?

By the way, what did Steve just ask her? She forgot it already. Her mind these days has been drifting in a haze, more and more often, sometimes Loki does not even know what she is thinking about. Everything drifts swiftly, only stay the memories of how much the man cares for her. The hands cupping her face are so warm, one of them used to grab a handful of her hair, but was it true? Or was it just a false scenario? 

Back to the point, should she ask him to repeat the question? or questions? He will not get angry if she does so, will he not?

"Loki?"

"Loki, come back to me. Hey, you alright?"

Sensing a haze in the goddess' eyes, Steve decides to drag her back, she is likely to forget the question. Letting her soak into it will do no good, Loki is beginning to show a sign of a mental health condition, Steve is not stupid, he is aware who is the bastard causing it, maybe he should get her a therapist, but that one can wait. Loki finally nods, and the blonde studies her until he is certain that the goddess is really alright and waiting for his next guidance.

"Good, you're back, that's great, kitten. Now, can you tell me the reason you don't want to have babies with me?"

The princess flinches again, she almost tries to turn her head away and whimpers just like a few minutes ago, as if the question is fresh to her. But then Loki stops and bites her lower lip, the memory goes back and reminds her the reason why, yet Loki has no idea how to indicate it.

"Just take it easy, I'll listen, we'll find a solution."

Loki takes a deep breath before looking at her reflection in his ocean eyes and doing what Steve has just told.

"If I told you the truth, would you hate and throw me away, if you were honest?"

She does not know why she has to ask the one who has kidnapped and raped her this question, an outsider would probably get confused if they saw what was going on, the feeling Loki has toward the Captain, it is completely wrong, in many levels. But she cannot help.

The blonde raises his eyebrows, he expects nothing like that though. What kind of truth can worries his little darling so much? And of course how on Earth can Steve hate this precious soul who has stolen his heart from the first time they met? Yet he just shakes his head and answers briefly.

"There's no way I can hate you, sweetheart. You have my words."

Loki almost bursts into tears, not the miserable tears but the appreciative ones, never have anybody ever said those words to her before, how ironic when the man who has kidnapped and assaulted her is also the man who makes Loki feels wanted the most.

"I am actually not Thor's brother, or sister, at the moment. I was not born as an Aesir but a... a..."

The goddess stutters, admitting the truth she has been trying so hard to deny is not easy at all. Loki hopes Steve would fill the sudden silence by saying he has no interest in listening anymore, but when the sound of silence is becoming so loud, she understands that the man's determination is clear.

"My lineage is... I am originally from another realm, not Asgard. It is a cold and dark planet with a numerous of... monstrous and aggressive giant creatures who like- like to bath in blood. My biological father, the king of that realm, was... abandoning me when Odin led his troops to quell the giants' rebellion. After the war, Odin had kid-kidnapped me, brought me into his palace and raised me as his son- daughter. His purpose was to have me... as a... a relic, a tool to unite the two kingdoms..."

Loki begins to sob, at this moment, when looking back upon, she honestly has no idea why things came to that. They just rapidly changed in a blink of an eye. And another irony is that Loki was kidnapped after escaping from another kidnap, how funny life is. One wanted to use her as a weapon to incorporate the kingdoms, the other wants to impregnate her. Loki abruptly loathes these men so much, so much that she thirsts for nothing but watching them choke in their own blood for what they have had done to her, she loathes being used and played like a puppet. If only her magic was still in control, she would have torn the Midgardian in front of her into pieces, would have made him pay for everything. Steve is... No, Steve is not the cause of her misery. No, he is not. Loki does not want to kill him, how can she even think about that? He was the one who saved her, was he not? And look at him right now, look at how he is taking care of her, how his palms are so warm against her cheeks with thumbs dutifully sweep away each streaming tear. Steve is her... lover, right?

"After that, Odin fell into Odin sleep, and I determined to destroy all of the giant monsters in the other planet, to bury the ugly truth about my lineage but Thor had returned from your realm to stop me, his father woke up and... tried to kill me, stating that I was the curse and ruined his plan, that death was the most benevolent sentence I could ever be charged. Yet I successfully managed to jump out of the Bifrost Bridge, with only one thought that ending my own life was far more better than my fate being once again defined by Odin. I thought the void would have been crashed me into atoms, but I ended up here in Midgard... in y-your hand. Asgard now is possibly searching for me, I know Odin, he will want me back either alive or dead, I believe that- believe he wants to erase every piece of me, not letting his failure to roam around or... float in the nine realms, to hide my existence - the proof about him raising a monster on his own that could shake the All father's prestigious fame... And my... my fo-former mother is a goddess of motherhood, she could tell if other goddesses gave birth, I... I know not whether she will inform Odin that I am still alive and having children or not... I am scared that he and Thor will come to-to take the babies from me and... "

Loki is choked up with emotion and can say no more, it hurts to admit those unvarnished truths. The blonde releases her face to pull her lithe body closer to him, to hug her tight, which Loki automatically lean into, his hand rubs the soft skin of her back.

"I fear when you learned what I truly am, you would throw me away..."

The poor goddess whimpers, her tears are soaking Steve’s shirt as he rocks back and forth to soothe her. He did not expect this though. A captive who is so frightened of being dumped by her capture. Oh, Loki has no idea what she is talking about, Steve muses. If it was not the Stockholm syndrome, she would sure loathe him to the core. The Captain remains silent until Loki is quiet and leaves off crying, he gently pushes the princess apart to look in her emerald eyes, there is also something he needs to tell her. 

She does no know how remorseful and agonised Thor was when he arrived in Midgard, saying his brother was missing, asking the Avengers so desperately to inform him if they had any clue about Loki, of course the Captain had, but he never said even a single word. What belonged to him, would always was his, he was never going to let Loki go. 

Loki is his, he is not going to let her go.

"Listen up, little one. I know Thor's not your biological brother, I already know, he told me that."

Steve watches the way her eyes go wider, this is so hard for Loki, he understands that. She needs time, this is easy, Steve can get what he desires, it just takes time, it is okay, he can wait a little longer for Loki to accept her place as a good wife while being in her pregnancy though, nine months is plenty of time. Still, the blonde chooses not to tell how worried Thor was, some inessential truth need not be revealed, especially when he is not sure if his little princess will change her mind and run away to find her brother. Steve does not lie, just does not tell enough information anyway. Loki only has to know he is her everything, other facts are unnecessary. It is helpful, Loki is not aware she has mentally locked herself down by her own thoughts, then just let her continually does so. 

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm telling you the truth, I know you are... How do you call yourself? A monstrous creature, right? Baby, you look beautiful in my eyes and I still love you regardless. You know that? I know what you are, but do I throw you away? No. Don't ever doubt about my love for you, okay?"

The princess hesitant nods before Steve continues.

"And you don't have to worry about your mother knowing those stuff, I mean, you're a human now, with no magic, no godly power, as long as I keep you hidden from Thor, as long as his mother doesn't mind female human giving birth, you'll be fine, am I right?"

"Y-Yes, you are..."

Loki whispers, this man is not going to renounce his decision. But the most surprising thing is that he still treats her as normal and more than a stolen relic... not normal for a normal person if they witness this abusive relationship, but at least he does not see Loki as a filthy creature, at least he still shows that he wants an abandoned thing, or even loves her... This is enough. Loki is so grateful, so grateful. 

"And I'm sorry for what I said and did to you in the bathroom, I didn't know and just acted like a bastard. If only I knew better. I was just so frustrated. Loki, I'm sorry..."

And just like that, her heart leaps. It means a lot to Loki when someone makes a mistake but then apologises when they realise it is wrong. She has lived more than a thousand years but the number of people who could do that to her can be counted on one hand. And Loki is not aware she is flushing.

"That... That is all alright. I accept your apology, thank you for saying that, Steve."


	9. Chapter 9

It starts in one morning when Steve brings Loki her breakfast, the goddess immediately feels nauseated as the heavy smell of garlic bread, she rushes to the bathroom and punks even though there is nothing in her stomach. The blonde spends a quarter of an hour to rubs her back, thinking Loki may get sick, he also cannot stop the emerging thought that may be an early sign of pregnancy. He is eager to check, finding that her breasts are being swollen and tender, noticeable blue veins run across the snowy skin, and Loki looks fatigued than usual. 

Later, Steve gives her three pregnancy tests, telling the princess to check and they turn out to show all are positive. He has hugged Loki so tight until she starts to struggle to breathe. A grin widely stretches across his face as he looks down to the pretty woman in his arms who is deliberately hiding from his gaze, it is fine, she will learn how to enjoy and be proud of her role as a good wife and wise mother during the pregnancy.

"Welcome to motherhood, love."

Loki shudders, the scenario she scares the most finally happens and the sad thing is she cannot do anything other than accept it. His lips are crashing hers, devouring his prey as he always does, and all Loki can do is parting her lips for his tongue to explore her mouth.

Long after he goes, leaving Loki alone with her thoughts again, she cannot help but circle her fingers around her flat stomach, it will soon be big and round. Loki cannot tell if she is happy when learning there is a life that is slowly forming inside her or not, as a woman's perspective, if she is petrified by what is likely to occur in the future.

Her eyes in indeliberately land at a glass of water on the table and Loki stares at it for a long moment before pulling herself up on her feet and walking to the table. She picks up the glass with her lifeless emerald eyes and smashes it to the floor, watching it shatters, water spills all over her feet. Loki leans down to collect one sharp-looking piece of glass, determinedly leading it to her throat. She does not wish the life inside her face a terrible fate. This can be an end... But then Loki freezes, does she really want to do this? Does she want to take the life of an innocent soul? Does she think she has a right to do that?

No, she does not.

Loki is too lost in her introspective to even realise the glass is cutting into her palm, drawing fresh blood to stream down the slender arm and drip on the carpet. Its sharpest edge is also digging into her neck. 

She startles and throws it away instantly, dumbfoundingly gaping at the mess on the floor and gasping. Disbelief emerges on her face, Loki cannot even acknowledge what she has just opted for killing herself right at this moment when she is pregnant. Disbelief mingles with regret. She should have done it in the first place, but she did not...

Loki wraps her arms around her stomach, at this point, she cannot do anything other than crying.

******

Steve just longs for returning to his room with Loki right after the meeting is over, but that woman, Sarkissian, she is clinging him on purpose, like asking Steve stuff that he is aware damn well she already knows.

"Why don't we have lunch together? Discussing the issues during lunchtime sounds interesting, Steve."

Steve has to fight down the urge to roll his eyes, almost belives she is blind, there is no way this woman cannot see he does not have time for these silly flirting games.

"And why don't you ask someone else? I think they'll gladly go with you, but me, I'm busy."

He hears Sarkissian clacks quietly, whatever, they have nothing but a leader and subordinate relationship, and that is all. Steve opts for walking away but that snake continues to follow him.

"What's that? What keeps you busy that much? Can I help?"

Steve sighs frustratingly and paces in silent until he gets to the door of his room, he opens the door and steps in, yearning for closing it to cut the annoying tail behind, but not before turning around to face her and saying. 

"I'm afraid you can't."

That short moment still enough for Sarkissian to peek over his shoulder and spots a black-haired woman with a porcelain skin sitting on the floor. She hears the door lock, grinding her teeth, she storms out of the house in rage and jealousy.

She knows Steve has an interest in someone, but she has not thought it could maintain that long. She also knows who the woman is though, last time she checked, that was a man, and now he is a woman, a beautiful one, Sarkissian has to admit.

If only... If only that goddess disappeared, or Steve grew bored with her... If only...

******

His lover's lithe body sitting on the floor, cleaning a mess of broken glasses and water is what greets him, Steve strides up to her and crouches, he catches her hands, stopping Loki from doing her work, feeling she flinches, he swiftly checks if the broken glass damaged any part of her limbs, he finds a long cut on her right palm with blood still dripping. Steve snatches some of the tissues on the table and presses them gently against the wound. 

"What's wrong, love?"

He sees Loki avoids his gaze again. Despite the concern is rising so rapidly inside, Steve tries to ask as softly as he can, worried that the goddess may think he is mad at her and therefore not openly telling him what happened.

Loki chews her lower lip for a second before she lowers her head even more and murmurs barely audible.

"I was just unintentionally broke it... I'm sorry..."

"Oh... It's okay, it's okay, sweetheart. I'm not mad, don't be scared. It's okay. There, let me do it."

He takes the wet washcloth in her other hand, begins to quickly clean up the floor and picking up the scattered glasses to put them in the tray nearby. After things are done, Steve pushes them aside and supports Loki to their bed, he pulls the drawer of the nightstand out to get some bandages and rubbing alcohol to clean the cut in Loki’s palm.

The princess stays silent for the whole process with her head bows down, long hair almost blocks half her face, which Steve assumes Loki thinks he is going to chide her at any moment for making such a mess. How can he blame Loki for that? It is he who has traumatised her for so long and put her in a pattern. Yet all he can do is reminding himself to try not to push his damsel in distress to the edge, try, he can only try not to. He is such an asshole.

They are lying down on the bed, Loki has been nodded off on Steve’s arm for nearly an hour. The blonde is watching her like a knight who is protecting his sleepy beauty, his hand is stroking her back in languidness and suddenly it stops when Loki unconsciously and slightly shifts her position, revealing a small scratch on her throat. His eyes narrow looking at it until everything slowly becomes apparent, the next thing Steve knows is that his hand already crawls up to Loki's neck and is about to squeeze it, to choke her, to teach her another lesson for daring to attempt suicide, hide, and lie to him.

But then he stops, he has sworn trying not to prompt even a damn panic attack which, out of expectation, will definitely follow after a punishment. Steve just wants Loki to know her place, but his method to tame her always triggers a breakdown, one way or another. So he closes his eyes and forcefully inhales, struggling to shove away the storm in his ocean eyes before putting his hand out of Loki’s neck.

Calm down, Steve reminds himself.

Calm down...


	10. Chapter 10

This is the last month of her first trimester so far, Steve has not known pregnancy could affect a woman's mood that much. Loki's mood swings change from clinging to depressing to irritating. One time, she even smacked his hand away, told him to get off her, and looked at him with so much indignation in her eyes when he was combing her hair, then only a few moments later she was sheepishly snuggling on his lap. Loki has not reacted like that before, and Steve has gotten used to her being small and scared of him. 

He gets to his room after a mission lasted for six days, with the itch to touch his goddess, he misses Loki so much that he almost goes crazy. Steve glances over the room until his gaze settles on the familiar figure lying on the couch. His features automatically soften at the sight, then his ears catch a faint whimper, making Steve confused as he strides towards the goddess.

Loki lies huddled in shivering and faces the backrest. Steve takes a seat next to her and slightly shakes her shoulder, "You okay?"

Loki flinches, so does Steve, as he feels her temperature is faintly higher than usual. The princess swiftly rolls over and grabs Steve's collar to tug him down, causing him to off guard. Their lips meet each other, Loki begins to chews his, throwing the blonde for a loop. He growls, his hands unconsciously hold her waist, thumbs rubbing the small baby bump. His cock twitching as Loki brushes her thigh over his groin. 

He is grateful the time he had spent to read so that he could learn how pregnancy can increase women's sex drive. Steve doubts his broody princess is not even aware of what she is doing and will be embarrassed afterwards.

Steve slides his hands underneath Loki’s shoulder blades and pulls her up, he tempts to press Loki against the wall but her push at his chest makes Steve freezes. 

"Please don't... I can't bring myself to do that anymore..." Loki looks panicked, Steve frowns, trying to figure out what she wants, he grins when she blushes and timidly stutters "I... I want to look at you when- when we..."

"When we have sex? Kitten, you wanna make eye contact when I make you feel so full?" Steve beams, his eyes shine like stars, clearly beguiled by her adorability.

Loki nods cautiously as her lower body moves closer to his. Steve settles her down again and shreds their clothes as quickly as he can. Her princess part is soaking wet, spamming furious, asking for Steve to put his cock all the way to the hilt.

"Please, " Loki whimpers, "I need... I can't wait..." showing her impatience that she does need him to waste any times in prep. 

Her urging prompts Steve even more, he gets himself between her legs and spreads them wide open, the cock is already aching hard, he gives it some quick strokes before shoving close to home in the first move, letting the familiar warmth and tight sensation wrap over him for a moment before moving his hips, thrusting fast and deep, making the small body to swing as each plunge.

Loki arches her back, hands reaching out to haul Steve's head down for a kiss again, letting the man swallow her moans, eyes never leave the other's. Her feet point out as the arouse is taking over.

Growling when he is near his climax, Steve speeds up his pace with all of his superhuman strength, the sounds of flesh slapping each other on and on drive him crazy. As if his lover knows he is going to come, she hooks her legs around his hips, wordlessly demanding him to release inside, the chain binding her ankle is cold on Steve’s bare skin.

The blonde surges forward, he is content with his princess' demand and exultant to do it. His tongue intertwines Loki’s as he cums hard and violently with another brutal growl. His seed once again finds its way neatly in the lovely womb.

Steve lets himself fall into the couch next to her to catch his breath. A few minutes later, he pushes himself up on one elbow, contemplating the bliss on his lover's expression who is definitely rocked by the orgasm. Her eyes are half-lidded, a thick fog of pleasure covers her vision as she pants.

He brushes a lock of wet hair out of Loki’s face, delighting at the way she purs under the touch. Steve then sits up properly to clasp the chain, he does not need it to keep Loki by his side anymore, he knows she will stay anyway. He clutches at the link and yanks it apart to remove the legcuff out of her ankle, cannot help but wince at the red ugly mark it leaves there.

Loki surmises what Steve has just done and she gasps in disbelief.

"You don't need it now," Steve lies down again after stealing a kiss from Loki whose eyes still locks in his, "you can walk around the house if you get bored staying in our room all day, baby. Keeping physically active in pregnancy is crucial for both you and our lovely baby, hmm." he kisses her forehead and murmurs, dragging Loki to lie on her side and holding her close in his protective arms, their bare chests pressing against each other, sweat tangling together in union.

Loki hides her face in Steve’s chest, wishing him does not notice how pinky her cheek is in reacting to his words. She tentatively hugs him back, trying not to think about her grateful feeling for him, trying to remind herself that she is merely Steve's sex slave, that he does not really love her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony will appear in 2 or 3 more chapters, 4 tops, depending on my lengthening-story habit :v and well, something unpleasant may happen in the next one.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Lunar New Year from Vietnam, everyone. It's been a while huh. Anxiety has been punching right into my face for no reason, oh it doesn't need a reason to do that haha, like a weight is on my chest, I haven't gotten used to this heavy feeling. It is like my life had been an old car driving on a bumpy road named depression, it got better, and now it turns to another way called anxiety. Don't worry, I'll be fine and finish the story. 
> 
> Most elderly people in this country still hold a troublesome norm/habit to ask for personal information. *Try hard to not roll my eyes* especially right on the first day of Lunar New Year, my relatives asked when I would get married... Oh, c'mon 🙄 I can't even handle myself, can't even look after myself properly, let alone with taking care of a guy. 
> 
> Then I told them "the best I can do is not killing myself," haha, when it became a dry joke to them, I added "no just kidding" with a serious expression and they dropped the subject 🤣 I don't get along with them.
> 
> Well, this lonely girl finishes her rambling, hope you enjoy this chapter.

Loki runs her fingers across the roses Steve brought her, grazes by the scarlet petals.

"Thank you... This is so nice," whispers Loki.

Sitting next to her on the window bench, Steve chuckles wordlessly and puts his palm on her fifth-month belly, pawing it tenderly right at the moment their baby moves. 

The fetal movements do not yet hurt her so badly and Loki should not enjoy this sense of comfort anytime the blonde does it, but she cannot help. It feels like the little life inside her knows it is coddled by its father. 

"Our girl must be dynamic. Does it hurt?" Steve muses. 

Loki's head shakes, she chews her lips before reservedly asks, "how do you know it's a girl?"

"Hunch, of an expectant father, I guess." Steve answers softly, cupping her chin as he angles her head to face his, all so gently as if treating a raw egg. "Do you want a daughter or a son as our firstborn?"

Loki's face turns red at the implicative words. Steve seems to wait for her response as he locks his gaze onto hers, she knows he gets her lingering hesitation, also knows he yet desires an answer. Daughter or son, it is not important, 'well, let's make another one,' Steve will suggest it despite whatever the gender of their kid she prefers, despite whether Loki wants it or not. 

Before she can force herself to reluctantly respond, a knock sounds on the door, catches their attention, relieves Loki's anxiety.

"Oh," Steve sighs nonchalantly, "time for therapy." 

He releases her, gets to his feet and paces towards the door to open it. Here comes a middle-aged woman who respectfully nods at him and smiles with Loki.

"I gotta go, sweetheart. Find me outside if you want anything." He waves goodbye to her, somewhat childlike before making his way out of the room and closing the door.

"So..." The woman grabs a chair and sits on it, facing the princess, "how is your day, ma'am?"

******

Steve is in his study with his face facing the glass window when Sarkissian is tiptoeing to him.

"Next time remember to knock before entering, Sarkissian." Steve deadpans, doesn't mind her sulky mumbles. 

"Oh, you have no sense of humour, Steve~ I purely wish to have a little game." she purrs suggestively, then takes one more step to stand next to him, deliberately lets their skin contact. 

Steve leaves his spot, tiresome, he goes to slump himself on the armchair which its back faces the doorway. 

"How is the mission?" he changes the subject, again he barely finds anything to chat with her beyond work. 

Sarkissian giggles maliciously, "Smooth. I made them pay back what they've done. Ironman's wife must be carried on a postmortem now." With that, she pulls a lock of long golden hair out of her coat's pocket and flutters it in the air. A sentence 'don't I deserve a prise?' is written across her features.

A satisfactory gleam flashes Steve's eyes, and he is willing to reward her with a smile, "nice work..."

Sarkissian, however, appears to not be contented. She is about to say something but then quiet footsteps sound into her sharp ear, so quiet that even her pride about having a great hearing has to be astonished. That must be... Looking back at her boss, he seems has not noticed them yet. The footsteps are closer. 

"Instead of such a paltry prise..." Sarkissian makes a move even before a plan emerges to her mind. 

As taking stride towards Steve, she shows off an alluring grin. Sarkissian props up her hands on each arm of the chair to block his way and leans down at Steve's level with their faces are approximately two inches apart.

"Why don't you remunerate me with a kiss, my mighty Captain?" 

_Here you are, gal. _She smirks triumphantly as sensing a small figure peeks over the door frame.__

__It is enough for today, Steve instantly furthers the distance right at that moment before the woman can overstep her barrier. He pushes Sarkissian away as moderate as he can. She never knows her place no matter how many time he has rejected her. The blonde needs to go back to his room and refreshes himself if he wants to save his day, he is on the verge of losing his patience. But it is still too late..._ _

__Steve stands up and turns around to leave, but his heart leaps at the sight of his woman standing stock still at the doorway, her face is a mask of what Steve cannot read. Sad? Angry? Betrayed? He cannot comprehend that expression._ _

__Of course, nothing has happened, but from where Loki is standing, it would give her a view of them kissing each other._ _

__"Lo," he rushes towards his love, his palms softly finds their places on Loki's upper arms, he presses close to her bodily with his lips slightly touches her hair, he needs some damage control, "little one, do you need something?"_ _

__She does not respond._ _

___Damn it._ _ _

____It takes Loki a while to slowly nods, and Steve promptly turns her around and encourages her to go, all ignoring Sarkissian, "Alright, let's get back to our room then." which Loki meekly submits._ _ _ _

____When the two are alone together, Steve anxiously asks, "Hey sweety, is there something I can help?"_ _ _ _

____"Your hands," Loki mutters._ _ _ _

____"My hands?" he is all anxious and confused._ _ _ _

____The princess unassertively grabs his hand in both of hers and guides it to her belly, so shy to look at him._ _ _ _

____"She is asking for you..."_ _ _ _

____Steve's eyes widen, his heart skips a beat, "my daughter is... Oh."_ _ _ _

____Relief washes over him somewhat, his fingers are surprisingly tender against the bump, sending a fluffy sensation through his body, so... This is how it feels like to be an expectant father? He has never experienced it before._ _ _ _

____"Darling, what happened back there isn't what you think it is. I didn't-" Steve tries to explain but Loki interrupts._ _ _ _

____"Is it important?"_ _ _ _

____"Of course, indeed, sweetheart! She was trynna court me, but no, you are the sole one I love." pleadingly, he holds Loki’s hands tight._ _ _ _

____The princess eyes him with that unreadable expression again, "Do you really love me?"_ _ _ _

____"Yes, of course, sweetheart. I do. Everything I do, I do it for you, don't ever question my loyalty to you. And this..." Steve caresses Loki’s belly but maintains eye contact, "our daughter is the proof."_ _ _ _

____Loki breaks the gaze first._ _ _ _

____"I understand, Steve. I know she did it purposely. You don't have to be fretted about it."_ _ _ _

____"You know?" the blonde is taken aback, he has least expected that, to be fair._ _ _ _

____She just nods. She does not tell him the way that woman holds resentful glare at Loki every time she crosses paths with her. Loki does not want to be a snitch. Abruptly all things matter is his love affirmation._ _ _ _

____Steve exhales a long merry breath, he shifts themselves until Loki’s back rests against his firm chest. His arms wrap around where their unborn daughter protectively as he hums, "thank you, little one. You are so good for me, I love you."_ _ _ _

____******_ _ _ _

____The next time they stumble across each other is in the hallway, Loki is taking her walking exercise while Steve is in the conference room._ _ _ _

____Loki tends to silently walk over the other but Sarkissian seizes her upper arm in an iron grip._ _ _ _

____"Hey, little gal, why so glacial? Not even a greet. Are you scorning to me?" the woman asks with an affected voice._ _ _ _

____Loki attempt to free herself bodily but fails, hesitating for a moment, then she speaks, "Steve wants me to go back to his room immediately."_ _ _ _

____The grip is loosened to some level, Loki hears Sarkissian huffs out a laugh before she clicks her tongue unceasingly._ _ _ _

____Loki warily watches the woman, even strained when those foxy eyes land on her belly._ _ _ _

____"Oh dear, I'm being threatened. Ah okay, I'm so sorry," Sarkissian pretends to be scared and apologetic as she withdraws her hand, "please, overlook this false minor offence, otherwise..." she trails off to make a fishy gesture of sliding her finger down her stretchy deep V-neck, "my boss would be harsh on me."_ _ _ _

____A faint frown appears on Loki’s features, but she shoves the strange feeling away and quickly makes an escape._ _ _ _

____As Loki comes near the double-sided staircase where she is certain her distance is quite far away from the woman._ _ _ _

____"How is the pregnancy going?" Sarkissian's voice sounds right behind Loki, catches her completely off guard, insecurity rises up to her throat._ _ _ _

____Before Loki can even turn around to deal with the woman, a force pushes her down the stair. It all happens too fast for Loki to do anything but a yelp. The stair is pretty high. Her back smashes painfully into the rough treads, so does her belly. She rolls down until her side hits the cold floor._ _ _ _

____Sharp pains constantly besiege all over the slender frame, the old ones mingle with the new, especially at her abdomen where cramps are raging. Loki cries out, with her hands on her stomach, she doubles herself on the floor, her lower part is wet. Loki squeezes her eyes shut but tears vie for spilling over at the depth of both physically and mentally suffering._ _ _ _

____Loki begins to slam her head to the ground, hopes it would somehow allay the on-going pain, but things turn otherwise. She does not know if she is half-crazed. The world is spinning. Unconsciousness threatens to take over her mind. It hurts like hell, Loki does not notice the perpetrator has gone already._ _ _ _

____"Steve..." the poor soul struggles to lie on her back and whines on and on, each time the name sounds louder, until she is screaming at the top of her lungs, "Steve... Steve... Steve... Steve!!!" it hurts her throat, her lungs, and her damaged stomach even more, but she must do it before the darkness swallows her._ _ _ _

____The life inside her..._ _ _ _

____"Steve!!!"_ _ _ _

____*****_ _ _ _

____He is in the conference room when a heartbroken sound calls for him. The voice is too familiar, also too desperate._ _ _ _

____His instinct does not give him time to analyze everything, he is alarmed, he cannot think about whatever the subject he is discussing anymore. Steve rushes out of the room, he runs through the hallway, a crazed look in his eyes as he trails the sound, his subordinates from the room are also following not far behind._ _ _ _

____The voice calling his name is slowly dying down when he is getting nearer._ _ _ _

____Steve's heart almost stops beating as he spots a sight of his love writhing on the floor downstairs, especially a bloodstain on her dress._ _ _ _

____"Loki!" he nearly stumbles down the stair, Steve clutches at the miserable woman, lets her back rest on his arm and drapes another one across her belly. He frantically looks at his subordinates and roars, "CALL AN AMBULANCE, NOW!"_ _ _ _

____He feels Loki clings to his hand - as if she is clinging to her lifeline - and wildly gazes back at her again. Her glassy eyes are soaked in tears, she tries to focus, to look straight into his ocean eyes. Loki seems to say something to him, but whatever it is, only sobbing sounds come out of her mouth, and every single cry is killing Steve._ _ _ _

____He swiftly holds Loki closer and grabs one of her hand in his, the princess wraps another one around the back of Steve's hand._ _ _ _

____"Sweetheart, it's okay. I've got you. Everything's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." Steve forces himself to lie, they both know it is not going to be okay._ _ _ _

____Their eyes not leaving the other, and none of them wants to part their hands from the other. A few seconds pass by but it is an eternity for them._ _ _ _

____"It's all going to be okay..." is the last thing Loki hears right before unconsciousness yanks Loki out of Steve's embrace and pull her into its, everything goes dark._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Ah anxiety has been leaving me as I reached half of this chapter, not sure why but what a relief...)
> 
> It's over my bed time now, 20 mins countdown before 00:00 AM, so I haven't checked grammar and spelling and word usage. May do it later. 
> 
> What have I done to my babies 🥺
> 
> Anyway, things I assume you guys may wonder:
> 
> Early chapters have bipolar disorder so Steve gets Loki a therapist to work through it. 
> 
> Loki at least knows Steve loves her, but due to their past (the brutally abused past of rape and violence), she may need time to arrange her psychology and find out her feeling towards him (without the interference of Stockholm syndrome). 
> 
> And I killed Pepper, blame me, don't blame Steve 🙏🙏🙏 since I wrote it (I wrote Steve ordered Sarkissian to kill Ironman's wife, a retaliation) it is me who should be blamed. But I don't want Steve to be hated, hate me for that instead. 
> 
> About their baby.  
> Hug Loki.  
> Hug Steve.  
> Hug them.


	12. Fan art!!!! 🥺🖤🖤

Thank you RichardCellies for the very beautiful sketch you drew 🥺🤍 

It's lovely 🥰 and so sad 😭

For those who can't see the picture, I put the link [here](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EvHMyBFUUAAa_ba?format=jpg&name=900x900) 💝.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For people who can't see the photos in the story Deprave the feathers (original) and Jealousy as well, I edited them (the first one is the silly version of this one), there were errors everywhere 😫. So sorry for the inconvenience 🙏.

When she opens her eyes, it is Steve's doleful face that comes first in view. She is in a hospital bed. It takes Loki a while to remember what had happened and she frantically touches her stomach, only to feel it is now so flat that a shiver runs through her spine. She struggles to sit up but is stopped by Steve halfway.

"Where is my baby...?" She windily looks at Steve, her voice sounds so sorrowful, and... so masculine.

Loki instantly realises she is a he now. He was turned into his true form, which should have delighted him, but no, Steve had said Loki could only get back to his male form when their baby was born, he was just in his second trimester, and... and he fell down the stairs. 

Steve sighs, melancholy fills his watery eyes. He bends his head to stop a tear threatening to fall, answering nothing.

Does it mean...?

"Please," Loki entreats despite the answer is easy to be seen, as an expectant mother/father, he refuses to see it, "please tell me, where is my- you said daughter, where is my daughter?"

Steve crunches his eyes shut, he has not known the grief of losing an offspring is this overwhelming, especially when this is his first unborn child. No parent can prepare for losing their baby. 

"The doctor said," Steve chokes out, "that he was sorry..."

And that is enough for Loki to hit the rock bottom, he sags into the bed again, the world is falling apart before his eyes. His hands unconsciously caress his own flat stomach, as if to reminisce and let himself sink into the familiar feeling over the last five months that now has gone. The tight sensation at his stomach is gone, it leaves, taking his heart with it, only a vast and unbearable void in his heart left behind. Grief...

Loki feels the sting and salt of tears welling up in his eyes. He begins to sob, tears blur his vision. His fingers stroke the stomach so gently, he fears he would hurt his daughter if the movement is a little rough. Loki is too immersed in the past that he does not notice Steve's hands has wrapped on his, to share the grief, to mourn over their lost child.

*****

Steve sits still on his chair, watching Sarkissian entering the living room with an easy smile and has her seat in front of a slice of pineapple cake.

"Oh, a dessert for me? I'm impressed, you finally want my company. Ah, I miss this place so much, I haven't come here since the last time you left me alone in your study," the woman maunders, as if she knows nothing, "I have only heard your lady got big trouble, I'm so sorry about that. How is she doing?"

"Broken," the blonde speaks nonchalantly, his fingers twiddle with his own dessert fork.

"It's a pity. She should have stayed in her room instead of walking around to trip over the stair," the lamentation feels so sham.

"How did you know she tripped?" Steve asks, his voice stern and eyes look straight to hers.

"I just," Sarkissian trails off but maintains the innocent face, "guess, yes. Who dared to harm your property? But have you checked the security cameras yet?"

Steve drops his eyes, "can't, all were damaged for no reason. But thanks," he smilingly slides his dessert and takes a bite, "for your consolation. Loki has been locking himself in the room all days and refusing to talk even to me. I was tressed, and I need you to placate me now."

A glimmer of jubilance sparkles on the woman's face when she sees Steve's smile, she takes a bite with a smirk. Eventually, this man eventually gets bored of that eyesore and is conscious of who truly suits him... 

A cracking sound, Sarkissian breaks off, a strangely bitterness permeates into her mouth, burning it, her smile is hushed as she spits that thing out. A small bullet. She is instantly alarmed, her wild eyes land on Steve again, speechless and unbelievable.

"It was dipped in black cyanide," it looks like she needs an explanation from her boss, and Steve decides to gives her then.

"W-Why...?" 

"You forgot the wiretaps," the blonde deadpans, "oh, my fault, you didn't know about that. And there is no need to pretend anymore."

The poison rushes in, scorching her veins. Sarkissian writhing grabs her throat which is constantly ejecting wheezing sounds. She falls to the cold floor, pain invades her brain and sweeps away whatever thoughts she is having. It takes Sarkissian a while to notice her mouth is open with the deviated tongue, a current of drool courses from her mouth. 

She hears footsteps approaching her, Sarkissian trembles to look up with her bloodshot eyes and sees an indistinct shadow.

"I trusted you," Steve's voice echoes around the room, he turns the woman to lie on her back by a playful kick, "and I must thank you for the effort of making everything I'd endeavored to build to go back to square one."

He vigorously lands his heavy boot on Sarkissian's stomach, her shrill placates him, it really does. Yet, it is still not enough compared to what she made Loki go through. Steve crouches down next to Sarkissian and caresses her arm, his fingers move tenderly down her hand.

"I don't know which one you used to take our unborn child away from us, I had such a hard time deciding which hand of yours to take care of. Fortunately, the saying 'a wrong decision is better than indecision' saved my time."

Her dizzy mind mingles with the poison and the pain at the stomach makes it too much for her to receive any new information, Sarkissian cannot get it, she simply cannot, until her forearm is fractured into halves in Steve's hands, and then the upper arm. She screams, and is surprised that she still can do it.

This time, the stridency of her sound seems to disturb the blonde, he frowns and grumbly crams her remaining dessert and then a linen napkin into her mouth.

"Shh, be good, there," he says softly and brushes a stray of the messy hair out of her face, "let me help you."

Steve holds her hand in his and begins to break every phalange and metacarpal bone. Each time, the broken bones scrape against the others and make satisfactory creaking sounds, harmonising with the muffled noises from the woman's throat. Steve iterates the action with Sarkissian's remaining arm and hand, wholeheartedly enjoying the excitement of an adrenaline rush.

New pains vie for sending messages to the nerves, joining with the old ones, levelling up the agony. Unconsciousness claws at her like a ravenous predator. She can resist no longer. And darkness devours her.

Steve stands up when he completes his artwork and calls some subordinates to order them to clean up the place, "toss this piece of meat away," says Steve before walking away without a glance at the body with the distorted arms.

*****

Months have passed, Loki has still pined for the bereavement. He remembers being so panicked over the thought of being nabbed if he delivered the child, and now Loki is willing to go for broke if it means he can have his baby back in his womb. But things were done cannot be undone. 

He even forgets to eat and drink, he loses weight, peaks and pines, as if he merely exists but lives. Steve's heart goes out for Loki, he himself has to mournfully get through the lost, but he does not allow sorrow to eat him through and through. Loki needs someone to lean on, and Steve wants to be that person.

He comes up with the idea of taking Loki on a vacation, hoping it will do good. Sea breezes blow through a window of a cliff homestay they are in, rushing over Loki's skin. Inexplicably, he wants to go to the cliff edge, it is not so far from here. Steve is taking a shower, Loki does not bother telling him before leaving.

Facing his back is the homestay, facing his front is the vast sea. Standing on the verge, Loki stares at the horizon for a moment, the winds out there are so impetuous that he feels like they are trying to knock him over. His eyes are downcast, powerful waves crash onto the sparse rocks at the bottom of the cliff. Loki's inner voice tells him he can reunite with his baby if he takes one more step.

Should he? Loki hesitates, should he leaves... Steve? Why does that thought waver him? He feels woozy, the fog once again drapes his mind. The water below gives Loki the tranquillity he always yearns for. Loki does not remember when was the last time he really felt at ease. There is a whisper in his ear - a voice Loki has no clue whether it is his inner voice or just the wind's, saying that he is nothing to the man who kidnapped and abused him bodily and mentally, that Steve has merely acted like he cares, and he will breed him again, and this suffering with repeat itself, that there is no reason to stay. 

Loki, after all, chooses to listen to its argument. His heart wrenches so overwhelmingly at the realisation that he has feelings for the other man, but he cannot stay, what Steve has done to him cannot be forgiven. Loki resents him... but he cannot hate him. Why? He pities himself for that. What is wrong with him? 

If there is any way that can end this wrongness, then this is it, Loki may terminate it this way.

He takes a deep breath, extends his arms and lets himself fall, feeling so right, so relieved that everything is going to be ended and he may meet his unborn child soon. But immediately after he already does, a familiar voice shouts, the panicky voice that calls his name. Steve, it is Steve's voice.

And Loki, of all things he is supposed to feel about that, turns out to regret he has jumped. Out of the blue, he does not want to die anymore, but the only thing that appears to his vision is the dangerous blue of the water, which terrifies him. Before Loki can think of anything else, he crashes into the ocean, feeling like he is scattered into pieces, and the deadly cold water swallows him alive.

*****

Loki is not in their bedroom when Steve steps out of the bathroom. At first, he goes to the living room, thinking Loki may be there. Steve gets a bit alarmed when the only thing that greets him is the quiet emptiness.

"Loki?" He calls, scouting around the house, adrenaline rushes to his throat. A small flicker of fear stabs through his guts as he returns to the bedroom and spots a sight of the prince standing on the edge of the cliff through the open window. 

What is he thinking? What is he trying to do there? 

No, no, no, no...

Steve chants in his head, trying to suppress the sudden thought that Loki may want to commit suicide. He instantly dashes out of the house to get there. His breath is taken away when Loki extends his arms and throws himself down the cliff.

"LOKI!" Steve shouts, his voice is pregnant with panic, his face is as white as a sheet, "NO!!!"

Steve stumbles on all fours when he makes it to the edge, his wild ocean eyes darts back and forth in an attempt to find the prince, only to see the immense sea and the angry waves smashing into the rocks.

*****

The waves come tumbling on the shore, the frigid winds, the far-away cries of seagulls at dusk. Tony sits on the beach with his arms hugging his knees, letting himself soak in the sombre view. He misses his late wife, the one HYDRA had taken from him. Peter also has gone downhill, but the boy is trying to hide it and gather himself together, to be his father's rock. Tony sighs, his son acts like the world's burden is weighing on his shoulders, which somehow is possibly true. As a world's protector, Tony is proud of that. As a father, he only wants Peter to have a normal life. Sometimes, Tony thinks it is his fault to become Ironman and drag his family into danger. Sometimes, he selfishly wishes he could renew his life, where there is no Ironman, just a man living happily with his family.

His train of thought is interrupted by a sight of a body being shoved to the shoreline by the waves. Tony moves without thinking, it is an instinct to help those in need. As he approaches the person, his mouth drops, he eyes the unconscious man unblinkingly. He knows this one, but the shock freezes him. Loki?


End file.
